This last week, I spent my time on the road working on a film project and fundraiser for a nonprofit organization based out of Montana. (Yes, I do what I love for work and get paid for it.) I had actually intended to write a piece about the organization as it pertains to laws and lands in the West, but while I was out there, I had an intentionally serendipitous look into the future. My future, that is.
You see, on this trip I had been questioning the love of it some. I have been working pretty tirelessly at digging in to the truth of some of the goings-on in the place where I live and telling you good people about it, but my enthusiasm for it was waning. I guess when you stir the pot, even it you mean to do it, the smell gets to even you. That’s to say that a measured degree of hopelessness was overcoming me as I began to succumb to the perceived futility of it. My “give a damn” needed some recharging.
This is not a new thing and certainly isn’t uncommon to writers, especially those with an investigative nose. Gene Fowler once said, “Writing is easy. You just stare at the blank page until your forehead bleeds.” Boy was he ever right. But perhaps not in the way you might think.
At first glance, the quote implies that the write may not be prepared or have anything to say.
My takeaway from that quote is that when a writer spends time digging in to a story, the visceral reaction to the assimilation of the uglier parts of truth is one of illness. You literally begin to get sick from internalizing the information and trying to make sense of it, at least from the vantage of a timeline if nothing else. The literary overflow comes like cranial blood overflow as you almost fight not to bleed. I often liken it to another process: that of nausea. You prolong the inevitable for as long as possible, taking gasps of air until you give way to vomiting.
Then follows the process of sorting through the discharge and compiling it into something legible.
Well, that is my process, at least. I’m not sure about anyone else except maybe the guy who in my mind rivals the Gonz himself, Hunter S. Thompson, in his ability to get after the truth and tell it in a no-bullshit fashion that hits the readers like ice-cold water in the face. With ice cubes in it. At maximum velocity. Like, really fucking hard, you know?
Allan Weisbecker has three books and a film under his belt.
His film, “Water Time: Surf Travel Diary of a Madman,” is a visual representation of his style, which is well documented in his book “In Search of Captain Zero,” wherein he expatriates himself and travels south to Central America in search of a lost friend, endless point break, and some redemption, I think.
Weisbecker tells the truth like he means it, and it reads like a novel.
Jon Rapport called him “a modern knight doing his work, living the life he’s chosen.”
He also said this of Weisbecker:
“I’m not talking about the revolution. I’m talking about how people resist the truth, in their own words, through their own confessions, live, in front of the camera. This is truth on a whole other level, because Weisbecker won’t stop being outraged and he’s on a mission to find out what happened to America.
Meanwhile, we’re watching the natural beauty of sand, waves, sky, trees flash by, the gorgeous world, and the contrast is staggering.”
It barely does justice to the sentiment to say that I relate, that I would rest easy in my urn after I am dead and done were things such as these said about me.
But in the meantime, I work at doing what is right in front of me, and when I get disheartened, I almost always seem to find a way to take to the road on a project where the symmetry of my work and the sorting out of the issues of my soul seem most often to find some momentum.
I had just left the headquarters of the nonprofit where I had been filming to head into West Yellowstone for some location-scouting. Riding shotgun with me was John, a fast-becoming-trusted ally in documentary work and a real gunslinger in the cinematographic sense.
We were behind a motor home, and I noticed that it had New York plates and a nine- or 10-foot longboard on top. I also noticed that its right interior dually tire was flat.
I drove up alongside in the opposite lane and yelled across to him that he had a flat. He waved in thanks and pulled off.
As we drove away, the imprint of the guy’s face began to ring familiar. And the New York plates … and the surfboard … was that …?
I told John to Google “Allan Weisbecker” and pull up some images, and as we looked at older photos of the man when he was younger, it occurred to me that it might be worth it to turn around.
We saw his rig in a parking lot at a marina near Hebgen Lake, and noted the advertisements for his three books and film on the back of it. It was him.
The short version of a story you’ll likely hardly care about is that while on the road working at getting after a story and the truth, being outraged at what is happening, and losing some hope and direction while at the same time living that contrast of taking in the staggering beauty of Montana while meeting amazing people and catching up with old friends, I had a serendipitous chance meeting with an inspirational man and writer who I look up to for being one who paved the way for what it is I am attempting to do with the later years of my working life.
How awesome is that?
See you out there.
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I know the serendipity. Lovely.
Don’t stop writing and publishing. More people than ever are commenting on the Dixie fiasco. And the travesty of “justice” in the courts. We would not have much information if you were not out there digging and uncovering and writing and publishing.
We are sickened by the number of people who are being thrown under the bus and equally sickened by those heretofore supposedly upstanding leaders who are lying and doing the throwing.
Our conversations often as not end with frustration rather than answers and action. I’m not too old to write an opinion but I’m definitely too old to organize a mass protest or a sit-in.
Where to start to get a ground swell going? As close as you are to the truths of this shameful mess, you are at least going to know what’s not going to impact those in high places.
Can’t blame you for feeling hopelessness at the beginning of the week but I’m happy for your amazing coincidence in meeting Mr Weisbecker. I’m pretty sure you noticing that flat tire is a metaphor for something. St George citizens didn’t see the flats and so we have two blowouts to fix. Not sure where the tools are to do that.
Just one comment Dallas. Your straight up style of writing, calling a spade a spade, pointing out the stupidity of someone trying to a Politian rather than a straight up friend of truth is rewarding to us readers.
What ever your motives for reaching for the pen or keyboard, don’t lose those motives. Some times your off base in my opinion, but you always take your readers comments and evaluate them. Thanks for stirring the pot when it’s needed.
The universe is fool of synchronicity. The vast majority of us are simply blind to its existence. Follow the clues. No religion here.
Dallas I empathize with you to a point. You write about questioning your love of what you do. And wonder if it is making a difference. You also write about “giving a damn”. These are all thoughts that I have had, and probably many others besides us have had. When ever I have these thoughts I remember one quote and it usually helps. “What comes easy won’t last. What last won’t come easy.” I knew when I decided to take on my battle that it was going to be all uphill. But I also knew it was the right thing to do.
I have had far more people comment to me that I am wasting my time because what I am taking on is to big, than I have had people tell me thank you for your efforts. But I expected that.
In my humble opinion you have no reason to give up. Compared to what I have to work with you have it made. You have a forum to spread your message. I don’t. You have people thanking you for your efforts and telling you to continue to fight for what is right on a regular basis. I get the occasional thank you. And you have the skills to do it right. I just keep trying to do my best. So enough with the pity parties. And remember you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink. If you are expecting society to change overnight your going to be disappointed. Just keep doing what you know is right and quit worrying about the rest of the BS. Since I never give up when are you going to respond to my e-mail?