Living a Life with Purpose: The surprising anti-aging drug

Written by Heather Hymas

We all think kindness is good. I believe most people want to be kind and/or think of themselves as a “kind” person. However, I also see, way too often that people feel justified in returning anger or hurt with anger and hurt. We all know that responding to anger with kindness (returning others anger and hurt with understanding or a caring word or deed) would be the right thing to do. It would also, more often than not, get you the result you would rather have in response, but that doesn’t always change our reaction does it? What if I told you kindness is the ultimate anti-aging ingredient to a long and happy life? Let me tell you a story…

The other day I pulled off the road above one of our local parks early in the morning to look at the beautiful view and watch the sun slowly wake up the world. I have been attempting to take more moments like this to just notice the beauty around me and to be grateful. As I turned my car around to park, I pulled right in front of an elderly gentlemen who was out walking. I could see I startled him, and so I rolled down my window to say hello. He asked me if I needed directions, and I gingerly told him no, that I had just stopped to… For a moment, I didn’t know what to say, not wanting to explain myself or what I was doing. He just looked at me, smiled, and said, “Oh, you are just here to take in the beautiful view.” “Yes,” I said smiling back quite surprised by the fact that he had seemingly read my mind.

This lovely gentleman, named Bob, came up to my window and began a conversation with me. He quickly asked me how old I thought he was. I am usually pretty good at guessing people’s ages, so I studied him up and down taking into account his full head of hair, spry gait, warm smile, clear eyes, and the lines on his face and neck. As I was formulating my conclusion, somewhere in the late 60’s age range, he quickly answered, “I am 84 years old.”
Wow, I thought, this guy looks amazing!

Bob proceeded to chat with me about life and the secret ingredients to aging happily, healthily, and effortlessly. He said of course one must eat well and exercise. Bob went on to explain that he always tries to eat healthy and exercises every day. “Swim, walk, or lift weights, it doesn’t matter what type of exercise you do, but do something with your body every day. Eating healthy is important, but exercise more than you eat,” Bob declared confidently. That’s perfect, I thought laughing to myself. Exercise more than you eat–so simple.

But then, Bob leaned in slowly and got a little closer to my window. Very seriously he looked at me and said (are you ready for this?), “The real key to happiness and aging is kindness and charity. I have always tried to be kind to everyone and help out others when I can. This is what keeps me young.” So there ya have it folks, the magical anti-aging ingredient is kindness!

Over the past few days I have given a lot of thought to what it really means to be kind and to help others out when in need. I’ll admit, it is not always easy to do. There are certainly times when someone hurts my feelings or does something to me that I deem as unkind and my first response is to want to hurt them back. But, what is the result of that? Do I feel better after hurting them back? How does that make me feel about me?

The result, for me, is that although getting back at someone or making them hurt in return may feel good for a moment, in the end, I always feel worse. It doesn’t fix anything. It takes a lot of energy away from me that could be used for something much more valuable, and you’re still usually left with two very unhappy people. When I respond with kindness, whether the other person accepts that or not, at least I can feel good about myself and my reaction. It also usually diffuses the situation and allows the other person to respond in a different way.

The Dalai Lama is quoted as saying, “This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.”

That is a philosophy (and religion) I can agree with. As Bob joyfully strutted away like a 65 year old, I was permanently altered by his words and his kindness to me. In retrospect, I do feel that I go out of my way to be kind to strangers and/or when someone reaches out to me when they are need, but I don’t always do such an impressive job with the people that are close to me or as a reaction to pain.

What if I adopted this idea of kindness as my own philosophy/religion for life in all areas? What if we all did? I know I would love to see more kindness exhibited throughout the world. Wouldn’t you? I believe for that to happen, it has to start with me! So, I am going to look for situations in which I can be more kind to others, as well as myself. And well… if it also means that I get to grow old like Bob, looking young, feeling happy, and strutting around like a 65 year old when I am 84, then so be it.

Heather Hymas has been a teacher in one form or another for the past 14 years. She has taught fourth grade, intermediate school, and college English, both at Dixie State University and Southern Utah University. She currently works as a teacher in a residential treatment center for troubled youth. She has a B.S. in elementary education, a master’s degree in education, and is currently working on her doctorate. She lives in St. George with her teenage daughter.