Movie Review: “Hell Fest” squanders amazing locale, settles for generic thrills

Movie Review: “Hell Fest” (R)

Apparently CBS Films and the makers of the new slasher flick “Hell Fest” wanted to get a little jump on the witching season as to not compete with David Gordon Green’s upcoming take on “Halloween.” Whatever the case may be, this slasher movie cliche smorgasbord doesn’t leave a very strong impression, and that’s a real shame, because clearly, a lot of time and craft went into the creation of the film’s awesome locale.

“Hell Fest” follows six 20-somethings as they embark on a terror-filled evening at a traveling carnival known not only for its intense spook alley attractions but also for a young woman authorities found murdered on those same carnival grounds a few years prior. Of course, said murder doesn’t do anything to hurt the carnival’s massive attendance, and it certainly doesn’t do anything to sway our lead 20-somethings from attending and having the night of their lives. Unfortunately for them, a crazed killer in a mask is loose in the park, and he plans on making their lives a living hell.

Chances are that if you grew up on the slasher movies of the ’70s, ’80s, and ’90s (see “Halloween,” “Friday the 13th,” “Scream,” etc.), you’ll probably find “Hell Fest” painfully familiar. It is positively bursting at the seams with nearly every slasher trope you can shake an ice pick at. Of course, a film of this nature doesn’t have to be completely original to be engaging, and once our clueless potential victims initially arrive at their destination, the beautifully constructed practical backdrop at the center of this movie feels as if it’ll be the shot in the arm “Hell Fest” needs to rise above the familiar. Alas, that is not the case.

Director Gregory Plotkin (“Paranormal Activity: Ghost Dimension”) has spent plenty of time as an editor on outstanding pictures like “Get Out,” and his various skillsets aid him in the overall geography of this picture. But ultimately, he and his filmmaking team squander a whole lot of potential by way of a generic film that isn’t nearly scary enough. “Hell Fest” is also plagued by sequences in which its central stock characters — half of them semi-appealing while the other half are unbearably obnoxious — are split apart in the laziest of ways so that they can be stalked individually by a killer whose strongest personality trait is his humming of the “Jack in the Box” theme. What’s more, it makes virtually no sense that there are multiple times in this picture where, despite the wall-to-wall crowds visibly seen roaming throughout the park, potential victims happen to find themselves in areas that, for whatever reason, have no people in them. How and why is that? Even the ladies restroom is virtually deserted during a pivotal scene in which a potential final girl comes face to face with the killer.

There are certainly a handful of jolt-worthy scenes in “Hell Fest,” and there’s a wonderfully sadistic bit involving a guillotine that — I feel like a disturbed individual for even admitting this — actually would have benefited from being even more sadistic. Still, it’s one of the stronger gags in the picture. Overall, though, “Hell Fest” simply never hits that sweet spot. The final showdown isn’t particularly eventful, and a brief reveal in which we learn a bit about this killer’s life outside of killing feels obvious and half baked. Even Candyman himself (the wonderful character actor Tony Todd) is unable to elevate the all too familiar proceedings.

The best that could be said for “Hell Fest” is that it does succeed in making me want to hit as many kick-ass haunted house attractions as possible this Halloween season, so at least there’s that. The worst that could be said is that this flick has absolutely nothing on Tobe Hooper’s “The Funhouse,” a horrific, campy, undeniably freaky slice of carnival-inspired terror that’s held up tremendously well over the past 35 years. It’s doubtful that horror fans will be talking about “Hell Fest” in the year 2055.

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