technology paranoia
Photo: DC Lies / CC BY-SA 2.0

Approximately 20 years ago, Mrs. Kravitz exercised her perceived obligation to let me know that there is a UPC code in treasury bills, and that the government knew how much money I had in my purse. I don’t think she got the reaction from me that she was anticipating. I told her that I hoped the government knew how much money I had because I had a total of $10 and was trying to figure out how to pay a $100 utility bill. I was hoping “they” would take pity on me and arrange an entitlement payout to a struggling single mother with two low-paying jobs. Socialism at it’s best. The pseudo-technology paranoia didn’t pay off. I am still on a tight budget.

Mrs. Kravitz ignored my sarcasm and proceeded to tell me how Mr. Moron threw his $50 bill into the fire when he discovered the UPC code. The only thoughts that flickered through my brain at that point were how badly I could have used that $50 and how my neighbors were insane. Yep, out-of-control conspiracy theorists. They breed unrestricted and live among us. Paranoia is contagious.  For the record, there is a legitimate anti-counterfeiting strip in paper money, but the government isn’t concerned with your measly cash stash.

Technology paranoia can cause people to firmly remain stuck in a time warp. Some of my clients and a couple of cousins have flip phones because they don’t want a phone with a GPS. I don’t think any of those people are criminals. Everyone is in their ’60s or ’70s. Most barely leave the house. The most exotic place anyone goes is Hawaii. They can’t run, so working for the Mob is out of the question. Ironically, if they are collecting social security and Medicare, the government knows where to find them. It’s difficult to live “off the grid” while getting government assistance. Besides, the GPS in an upgraded phone might come in handy if they fall and break a hip or something. I’m sure it would be helpful to actually be able to see your photos and have a phone that can interface with you car so your children can find you if you don’t return from the grocery store within a day.

I guess I’m somewhat paranoid of technology too, but I’m not going back to post-it notes anytime soon.

I guess I’m somewhat paranoid of technology too, but I’m not going back to post-it notes anytime soon. My handwriting is totally illegible. I remember having to walk all over a huge office building to deliver messages, but I got exercise. It just took all day to accomplish anything. It still does, but it’s because everyone is texting instead of working. But, as long as autocorrect doesn’t change your message to something profane or embarrassing and you don’t get fired, you are at least communicating (somewhat).

Technology is getting more invasive. Facebook kind of creeps me out. Unfortunately, it’s the only way I ever know what is happening in my children’s lives. I’m not kidding when I say that is how I found out that my daughter got married again and that my grandson had surgery. So if you ever want to know anything about your friends or family, just check Facebook. The scary part is that Facebook knows who you are, where you are, and who your friends are. I take comfort in the fact that my life is pretty boring. I could never be a spy because I can’t walk in stiletto heels, and I don’t think anyone really wants to see me naked. It would be mortifying with facial recognition and all.

Sex robots are actually a thing now. They may benefit society, and some look pretty good. I guess the makers, or maybe even the government, would know that you are having sex with a robot, but it could keep you out of trouble. However, I doubt that most people can afford the $10,000 price tag. I’d rather have one that cleans the house and looks like Sam Elliot, but I’m sure that model is beyond my financial capabilities. Embracing artificial intelligence might be fun until they all go rogue and take over the planet. That may be the technology paranoia talking. I guess I’ll have to continue doing some things the old fashioned way.

Meanwhile, my advice is to ditch the paranoia and embrace technology. Big Brother may be watching you, but he will probably change the channel and watch something more interesting. Just saying.

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  1. nose starts to itch… going to sneeze… ahhhhh boooolsh $*!#t…. Read a book. No, not on your kindle. Maybe one you can buy for 1-2 dollars at the DI. Amazing!!!! I beg to differ with your opinion. 🙂

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