It seems like the Christmas season starts earlier and earlier each year. Personally, I’m okay with this. Thanksgiving has never been a holiday I particularly enjoyed, and I don’t need an excuse to gorge myself on turkey, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie. Still, I understand why it can be so upsetting to others. Watching an over-commercialized holiday continue to grow like some kind of unstoppable blob can be bothersome. Now, a holiday where we tell scary stories about unstoppable blobs, that’s something worth extending. Starting the Halloween season early really has no downside. So, here are my ten reasons why Halloween season should start today.
First, there is no turkey-centric holiday for people to complain about it overtaking.
September is kind of a nothing month. School has just started, and we need something to take our minds off of the depression that is the end of summer.
Second, two months of pumpkin flavored crap is not enough.
Pumpkin pie, pumpkin flavored coffee, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin flavored hefeweizen, pumpkin bread, seriously, I could go on for pages and not run out of orange tinted deliciousness…pumpkin bisque!
Third, is there a better way to kick off the Halloween season than Salt Lake City Comic-Con?
Personally, I wish it were socially acceptable for people to dress in costumes every day. Think about it. Waiting in line at the grocery store wouldn’t be nearly as frustrating if you were standing behind Deadpool or Chewbacca. My son is almost two months old. From now until he dresses himself, I plan for his wardrobe to consist of Halloween costumes. Shhh…don’t tell his mom (just kidding, she’s totally on board).
Fourth, we need more time to celebrate the twisted side of life.
Both Halloween and Christmas are filled with a sense of wonder (if you want them to be. If you want to be a pooper and ignore all that, whatever, that’s your choice). Flying deer, magical fat men, talking piles of snow, or zombies, ghosts and ghouls, our world needs a little more wonder, a little more magic and imagination. While I enjoy that side of Christmas, I’ll take Romero over Disney any day of the week. Tim Burton, Guillermo del Toro, Tim Curry and Susan Sarandon, Henry Selick, one month is not enough to contain all of this awesomeness.
Fifth, candy.
So much candy. Really, and I think most of you can get on board with this, Halloween is in part just a celebration of chocolate. And chocolate needs its own holiday.
Sixth, Halloween decorations are extravagant and amazing.
The amount of effort that can go into decorating your house and yard for Halloween can be immense. The product of that effort is spectacular. Let’s give people a little more time to deck the yards with skulls and tombstones and a lot longer for us to appreciate their work.
Seventh, Halloween parties are actually parties.
For most of us, Thanksgiving is either boring or stressful. It can be a time people feel compelled to prove themselves to relatives. And while everyone enjoys eating Thanksgiving dinner, I’ve met few people who enjoy preparing it or cleaning it up. In fact, most of the people I know find Thanksgiving to be the most stressful holiday. Christmas parties are fun, but — at least in my family — are more about the kids, which is good. Still, it’s nice to have a holiday season filled with parties geared more towards us adults.
Eighth, corn mazes need to be more challenging and haunted houses should be multi-day events.
Seriously, can you imagine a corn maze that you had to pack for like you were heading out on a survival trip? Or a haunted house that required you to spend the night huddled together around a dimming flashlight with your friends. These things need to happen.
Ninth, Halloween gives us a way to face our own mortality without getting bummed out.
This one is more serious than the others, but Halloween allows us to acknowledge our own mortality in a way that becomes more exciting than depressing.
Tenth, Halloween is packed with so many traditions and fun activities that we really need two months to celebrate them all.
Pumpkin carving, trick or treating, dressing up, corn mazes, haunted houses, horror movie marathons, the Rocky Horror Picture Show, Halloween parties, Frightmares at Lagoon, Thriller at Tuacahn, and on and on.
So, let’s bust out the fake cobwebs and skeletons, dress up like whatever we want to be, fill our mouths with chocolate, and get Halloween going now.
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