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| Photo: Rohit Gowaikar |
Written by Crystal Schwalger
I was driving down the street the other day and glanced over at a car that was going past me on the opposite side of the road. The driver gave me a huge smile as if I knew him. I had no idea who he was, but I smiled back anyway. Then a funny thing happened. I felt much better about my day. In fact, I not only felt better about my day, but I noticed that I was smiling more and actually felt happier. This made me wonder, why is it that a smile can make us feel so much better?
A realist might say that a smile is just a mere gesture of an emotion on our face. I believe that it’s more than that, though—way more! An 18th century poet named Joseph Addison said it best, I think. He wrote, “What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but scattered along life’s pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.”
How true those words are. The good that a smile can do is not only inconceivable, it is also incomprehensible. Why? Because a smile is more than just an expression on our face. A smile inspires everyone around you, including yourself. A true smile is the outward expression of an inward joy. It manifests the light within us that reaches out and touches others, lifting and inspiring with a language that transcends any barrier.
Did you know that a smile is universal and speaks every language? A smile means the same thing, regardless of age, country, culture, financial status, faith, or location in the world. A smile speaks the language of unity and can build a bridge between us, reminding us that we are all innately connected.
Research shows that a smile can be one of the most powerful things that you can do for another person. Smiles are free. So why not share something that costs nothing, can brighten another’s day, and can lift your own at the same time? I’ve come to believe that we humans need smiles. They are not just a desire or a good idea but rather something that every person actually craves and needs.
When one of my sons was around three years old, he was quite a handful. I had always heard about the “terrible twos” and how bad they were, but no one ever told me that a three-year-old could be worse than a two-year-old. He was so out of control–to put it mildly–that there were times when I thought that he was possessed. I had no other way to describe his behavior. I was going out of my mind trying to understand him and why he was acting the way he did. Nothing we did made a difference. We tried everything we could think of, from timeouts to diversions, redirecting, and even spankings. Nothing seemed to help. I asked for advice from family, friends, other moms, and anyone I could think of that might have some good advice. I even read numerous articles and books to no avail. I felt like a terrible mother, lost and defeated. If you have ever had an out-of-control toddler in full meltdown, you know what I am talking about.
I was at my wits’ end and felt like having a meltdown myself. After a little meditation and a lot of prayers, a thought came into my mind: smile at him. I thought to myself, “What? Smile at this kid, who is driving me crazy?”
Again, the thought grew stronger that I needed to smile at him. No matter how he was making me feel, no matter what he did, I needed to show him with my smile that he is okay and that I love him, no matter what he is doing.
That was the moment when I considered that maybe part of the reason why he was acting so crazy was that I was always frowning at him. I was always telling him “No” and making angry faces at him. In fact, I couldn’t remember the last time I had given him a genuine smile of encouragement. Of course, it is natural to be upset when a child is naughty, but I realized that by always frowning at my son because he did something bad, I was only showing him negative emotions.
From that day on, I started smiling more at my son. It wasn’t always easy, and there were many times when I had to grit my teeth. He didn’t change overnight, but then again, neither did I. Things did get better though. I could see that my smiles had an effect on him. Pretty soon, the smiles came naturally and didn’t have to be faked or forced. After all, I loved this little guy with all my heart, and he needed to know that–not just by me saying it but by me showing it with my smiles. Before long, he started to be a happier little guy, and he knew that I always loved him, no matter what.
Do smiles really have power? I know they do. An unknown writer once said, “The act of smiling is a gift that gives a little piece of joy and sunshine to brighten another’s day.” My smiles actually made a difference in not only my son, but also changed my outlook and how I interacted with him. It even made us closer as a mother and son. To this day, he–more than any of my other children–always says “I love you” when we part ways. Smiles, like love, are contagious and easily spread if we let them. Try being contagious today. I guarantee you will be happier if you do.
Crystal Schwalger has loved writing ever since she could remember. Her love of learning led her to Dixie State University where she graduated with a degree in English and Communications. She is passionate about writing and believes that you should never give up on your dreams. She is happiest when she is at home enjoying her backyard green spaces with her family. She currently lives in Washington Utah with her husband, her children, and her dog Kali.
