WELLNESS: Living a life with purpose while surviving the Storm

Written by Heather Hymas

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” ― Haruki Murakami

Everywhere I turn lately I see people going through major trials. My family, and several other families that are dear to my heart, have a family member battling cancer right now. This is so enormous and scary; at times it seems overwhelming.  No matter what your trial is, divorce, death of a loved one, job loss, sickness, or something else, how do you walk through it gracefully and with a positive attitude? How do we not look at these trials and say, “Why Me?” “Why my, fill in the blank…?” I read this quote recently and found it very applicable. We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, “Why did this happen to me?” unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way. ~Author Unknown.  I certainly don’t want to question every time life hands me something good, or ask why joy has come my way. So, how do we stay positive and purposeful under extreme stress or in a painful situation? How do we weather the storm without drowning?

It is hard some days to live a Life of Purpose. So you have finally realized what you think your purpose is and you board the train for the destination, eagerly and enthusiastically. You have your crisp train ticket still warm in your hand. You nestle down in your seat by the window, warm cup of coffee, you are ready to dive in and immerse yourself in this amazing journey we call life. When all of a sudden, CRASH! The train completely derails. At this point, you have to get off and either walk, or find another means of transportation. You have to re-evaluate the journey. You have to ask yourself, am I still headed in the right direction?

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. ~M. Kathleen Casey

We have to constantly re-evaluate our purpose, our priorities, and our direction. We have to be flexible to change. I believe our real purpose (besides love, love is always our #1 purpose) here on this planet is to learn and to grow. To leave the planet and the people around us better than we found them. I’m sure you have heard the old saying, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% your reaction to it. This is completely true. It is all in how we perceive and react to the trials that are thrust upon us. When the train derails, ask yourself, “Am I going to derail with it, or am I going to hop off and find another ride?” I can sit on the train and wonder why it derailed and keep telling myself how awful the derailment is, or I can see the derailment as a painful lesson and brush myself off and learn from it. We can walk through the pain of any situation and come out the other side wiser and bigger, or we can suffer. By suffering, I mean holding on to what is wrong, feeling sorry for myself, or staying in the problem. You can always chose to detach from the problem and move into a solution. You can always find something positive in any situation. It might not be what you had planned, but it can always be good. It might take time to adjust and figure out your new mode of transportation, but there is always another way. You might not take the train anymore; you might need to take the bus from now on.

“Life itself is simple…it’s just not easy.” ― Steve Maraboli

I don’t know about you, but I have a tendency to overcomplicate things. We as humans have a predisposition to expect the worse and wonder, what if? I don’t know if this is because we don’t want to be disappointed, or if it is just easier to assume that things will be bad. Either way, these are both very destructive behaviors. I would like to challenge that idea and say it is just as simple to assume the best and expect good things to happen. I am not saying this is easy, especially if you are changing long held beliefs or patterns, but I am saying it is that simple. Just decide that you are going to think positive from now on, and expect the best from people and from life. This will take time to change. Change is also not easy, but it is simple. When you catch yourself thinking negatively, just stop, cancel that negative thought and replace it with a positive one. Simple. That doesn’t mean bad, hard, or painful things won’t happen, it just gives you a way to control your reactions to them. It puts you in control instead of allowing the problem to control you.  Once you make the switch from riding the train to taking the bus you realize that the bus is so much more comfortable, it is less expensive, and it gets you where you are going so much faster. You would have never recognized this, or even taken the chance to experience the bus, if the train hadn’t derailed. Many times, we just cannot see the good that will come to us or out of a situation until we have traveled down the road a bit and can look back.

I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa

Whether you believe in God, a higher power, the universe, or whatever, know that you are never given more than you can handle. You have the ability and strength within you to handle whatever challenges the storm might bring. You may not want to go out in the rain, get wet, face the lightning, hear the thunder, or brace yourself against the cold wind, but you do have the ability. The biggest challenge we face is realizing this and believing in ourselves. Once you believe you can do it; you can. Henry Ford said, “Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right.” All the strength and will you need is right there inside you. Often, I need to grab a raincoat, an umbrella, or even some sand bags. We all need help and support sometimes. We might need to let someone talk us through a difficult situation or decision. We might need treatment, medication, or doctors to help us recover. We might need to let friends or family members offer their time, food, or money. We might have to swallow our pride. Often being brave or strong is the difference of going it alone, or asking for help when we need it. Many times in my life I have had the strength inside of me I needed to face a nasty storm, but I could not see it, or feel it, until I let others show me how.

Finally, trust in your own ability. ~Heather Hymas

How do we weather the storm? Number one, we believe we can. We have faith. We choose to think positively and focus on the solution rather than the problem. We don’t wonder why, we just realize that something good comes out of every situation, somewhere, somehow, down the road. We ask for help when we need it. We allow people to be there and support us. We chose our reactions. We walk through the pain, but do not stay there and suffer. Although life is never easy, we keep it simple. Then we wait for the inevitable rainbow and sunshine that always follows a horrible storm.

Heather Hymas has been a teacher in one form or another for the past 14 years. She has taught fourth grade, intermediate school, and college English, both at Dixie State University and Southern Utah University. She currently works as a teacher in a residential treatment center for troubled youth. She has a B.S. in elementary education, a master’s degree in education, and is currently working on her doctorate. She lives in St. George with her teenage daughter.