Movie Review: “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” has dinosaurs in it

Movie Review: “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” (PG-13)

J.A. Bayona is a fantastic filmmaker — see “The Orphanage,” “The Impossible,” and the grossly underappreciated “A Monster Calls” if you seek proof. That said, you can’t polish a dinosaur turd, and Colin Trevorrow and Derek Connolly’s screenplay for “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” certainly comes dangerously close to being “one big pile of shit.” Thankfully, Bayona is able to give this film a bit of a sheen that it might not have had in the hands of a lesser filmmaker, and the end result is a flick that’s weirdly watchable, even when it reaches new levels of stupidity. And I say that as a big fan of Trevorrow and his first (and best) film, the independent time-travel gem “Safety Not Guaranteed.” Trevorrow is super likable, and he’s an easy guy to root for. But given the jarring and conflicting tones as presented in both “The Book of Henry” and “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom,” one tends to wonder if perhaps this storyteller should take a couple of years off before getting his thoughts together and working on another project.

Some time has passed since the fiasco at Jurassic World. The park is closed, and many of its creatures are now free to roam the island. Unfortunately, though, an active volcano threatens the natural ecosystem that has allowed these animals to flourish. So ultimately, Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard) is sought out by Eli Mills (Rafe Spall) and the reputable Lockwood estate to mount a rescue mission. Of course, Claire calls upon the aid of her estranged ex-boyfriend Owen Grady (Chris Pratt) to join her on this covert mission, and she uses his bond with a domesticated raptor, Blue, as a starting point.

Accompanied by a team of soldiers led by Ken Wheatley (Ted Levine, who left a long lasting impression as Buffalo Bill in “Silence of the Lambs”) and a small team of their choosing, Claire and Owen eventually make their way back to the island  where they come face to face with a potential present-day extinction and the Earth shattering revelation that their mission might not be what they initially thought it was.

And all of these plot points go down in the first half of the movie!

The second half of “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” retreats back to the massive Lockwood estate where the proceedings turn into a scaled-down house-of-horrors freak show complete with monsters in the basement. Of course, as terrifying as that may sound, we all know who the real monsters are, don’t we?

As was the case with the overrated “Jurassic World,” “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” owes just as much to the Indiana Jones and Aliens movies as it does to Steven Spielberg’s majestic adaptation of Michael Crichton’s novel, “Jurassic Park.” Throw Bayona into the mix and you also have a grim fairytale vibe that takes this movie into a very strange, bordering on bonkers, direction.

But then, it’s not like this franchise hasn’t flirted with strangeness in the past. There are some aspects of this picture that slightly resemble rumored plot points that famed screenwriter John Sayles allegedly included in his discarded “Jurassic” script several years ago.

Whatever the case may be, the real problem with “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” isn’t weirdness. The real problem is the way this film jettisons one plot point after another, pounding its heavy-handed messages into your face with all the subtlety of a T-Rex dining on a goat. There’s zero patience on display here, and that hurts the rhythm of the movie in a big way. And this is to say nothing of all the stupid decisions characters make throughout this picture. Look no further than a foolish move made by a so-called trained soldier in the final act.

On the flip side, the visuals in “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” are pretty spectacular, and the wizards behind them beautifully (and seamlessly) integrate practical and CG techniques to startling effect. Furthermore, Bayona does manage to orchestrate a handful of truly impressive set pieces, including a surprisingly humorous sequence in which a  disoriented Owen tries to dodge an approaching river of lava and an intense bit in which Claire and Owen attempt to extract blood from a tranquilized T-Rex.

Pratt and Howard have virtually no chemistry here. But as individual characters, they have a few appealing moments to speak of. Jeff Goldblum returns as Ian Malcom in what could be best described as a thankless cameo. New to the franchise are Levine’s one-dimensional grunt — veteran James Cromwell as a John Hammond-like entrepreneur — and Spall as a shifty individual who’s mostly responsible for setting the whole plot into motion. Spall is fantastic in Netflix’s thrifty and creative horror movie “The Ritual.” But unfortunately, he’s saddled with a far less interesting character in “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom.” A usually dependable Toby Jones also shows up in the underwritten role of a wealthy, cocksure individual who bears more than a slight resemblance to our president. Yawn.

Of course, most viewers are going to this movie to see dinosaurs in action, and in that regard, you won’t walk away disappointed. All of your favorites are back, and the majority of them get their moment to shine. Beyond the usual dinosaur suspects, there is a brand new beastie thrown into the mix. He’s called the Indoraptor, and he provides “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” with a few of its more shocking moments.

Again, “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” as a whole is a weird mix. It deals with serious themes of animal rights, playing God, and the true nature of man. But the characters here are so shallow and the writing is so silly, rushed, and unrestrained in nature that I found it difficult to totally get sucked into the adventure of it all. It should also be noted that this film often plays more like a setup than a standalone movie. On the other hand, “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” isn’t without its fair share of impressive sequences and technical bravado, and we have the gifted Bayona and a skilled team of visual effects artists to thank for that.

In the end, where Trevorrow plans on taking this franchise has this “Jurassic Park” fan concerned. Part three, which Trevorrow is currently in the early stages of preparing, has potential to be really terrifying or unintentionally hilarious — and quite honestly, I’m not down with an unintentionally hilarious “Jurassic Park” movie.

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