A nursing home romance that melts the heart
She wore a $16 yard sale bridal gown contrasted by a magnetic blue sweater. Blue was her favorite color, it also being the color of her favorite sports team, the Dallas Cowboys. The groom matched perfectly in a satiny blue shirt.
They said this romance that blossomed into a patio wedding was a first at the nursing home.
Not only was it the first wedding ever held at the nursing home in Henderson; it was just the first time most of the attendees saw two people tie the knot who seemed to literally complete each other.
They both had experienced major strokes in their early 50’s. She was left unable to walk. He was left unable to speak. She speaks for him. He gets her the things that she needs. It’s a nursing home romance that melts the heart.
When they first met at the nursing home, they had an instant attraction and connection through their eyes. They communicated through the “windows of their souls,” although he was able to say a few words: “yes,” “no,” and “I see you.” Eventually, she worked with him to say, “I love you.” He draws it out slowly, putting emphasis on each of the three short words, resulting in a deeply heartfelt expression. She says that when he looks into her eyes, it makes her want to stand up and step inside him and become one.
Kim and Shawn Prior just celebrated their one-year wedding anniversary. Their love is still strong, but it hasn’t been easy. In the last year, they have struggled with daily pain, illness, falls, fractures, malfunctioning mobility chairs, and separation during long hospital stays. Through all of this, one constant is the way their faces light up when one or the other comes into the room. That light alone melts the heart — a sweet nursing home romance.
Kim raised her children in St. George after relocating there from Southern California. In 2014, while on her job as the manager of an appliance store, she felt pain in her head and chest and numbness in her leg. She thought she was having a heart attack. She closed the store and drove herself to the emergency room. It took several days to diagnose mini-strokes, but it wasn’t until a couple of weeks later that she experienced the massive stroke that would cause her to lose the use of the left side of her body.
Shawn was a long-haul truck driver who enjoyed playing guitar. Originally from the east coast, he was living in Las Vegas when he suffered a major stroke. His landlord found him and called 911.
By the time Kim and Shawn met at the nursing home, both had gone through their share of life’s struggles. Upon their first encounter, not only were they attracted to each other but they needed each other and found solace in each other. Just knowing they have each other is an immeasurable comfort, a nursing home romance that warms the soul.
When Shawn asked Kim to marry him, he was able to write the question on a piece of paper and hand it to her. The stroke affected his ability to write, and he doesn’t normally use that as a means to communicate. She still has that piece of paper. They like to spend time outside sitting next to each other in their mobility chairs, holding hands and watching the sun go down. Shawn can only walk short distances due to a permanent foot condition, so he generally uses a mobility chair to get around.
When they’re apart due to a hospital stay, they worry about each other constantly. Nine months into their marriage, a Medicaid social service program facilitated their placement into a small assisted living home in Las Vegas. On the first day, Kim fell out of bed and broke her left shoulder. Since she didn’t have movement on that side of her body, she wasn’t able to brace herself when she slipped off the bed, and her shoulder took the full impact of the fall. She was taken to the hospital and then sent to a short-term nursing home for rehabilitation.
Kim and Shawn have long phone conversations during which Kim asks Shawn yes or no questions. Sometimes she’ll ask him to hand the phone to someone nearby if she needs clarification regarding his circumstances. Since he can’t communicate in depth, he can’t ask for help. When she was in the hospital, he decided to try to figure out the bus system and visit her. He called her and she asked if he was at a bus stop. He said, “yes.” She asked if he was sure it was the correct one and he said, “no.” She asked him to hand the phone to a woman standing next to him and Kim explained Shawn’s situation and where he was trying to go. The woman confirmed that he was at the correct place.
They celebrated their one-year anniversary living apart: Shawn at the assisted living facility and Kim still in the rehabilitative nursing home. The celebration started early with a morning ride in a wheelchair-accessible taxi to a casino brunch buffet. It was a rare treat.
As of this writing, Kim’s therapy has ended, and she needs to leave the short-term nursing home. The assisted living facility has indicated that it can’t take her back, and Shawn doesn’t want to live there without her. The nursing home social worker is trying to find a long-term placement for both of them where they can once again share a room. Kim would love for them to move back to southern Utah where she has family, but it’s not easy to transfer Medicaid from one state to another. In any case, they hope to once again find a care environment that celebrates their flowering relationship and supports the whole being — body, mind, and spirit. For now, they don’t know what the future will bring, where they will be living, or what their bodies will do.
All they know for sure is what they feel in their hearts and what they see in their eyes and it fills their souls with love. Pure love.
It’s a nursing home romance that goes beyond words.
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