Written by Rich Rogers
Not Cool by Greg Gutfeld
Hardcover. 257 pages. $26.00
Greg Gutfeld is one ticked off guy. And that’s to our benefit.
The host of Fox News Channel’s Red Eye and a co-host of The Five is getting ever more annoyed with the hipster elite and their definition of “cool.” “The world is a high school, only more cruel, more reckless and certainly more expensive…Who runs this school we all live in? The cool: people who consider themselves rebels and tastemasters for all that’s edgy…But it’s all BS. In fact, if you scratch the surface of their cool veneer, you’ll find they’re about as counterculture as a toupee, and not even remotely as useful (pg xi).”
His problem with the cool, and coolness? “Coolness is a replacement for a strong ego and operates as a safe, ambivalent response to evil in the world. The result: We are left with a dreary planet of self-esteem sponges more interested in capturing approval of phonies than actually doing something real or positive with their lives. It’s an attitudinal apocalypse. It’s killing us, and we don’t seem to mind…We used to consider the right thing to do; now we consider the cool thing to do…We’ve abandoned veterans parades for divestment sit-ins, and courtships for hanging-out. Pop culture has replaced principle (pg 7).”
For two hundred and fifty pages, Gutfeld takes the coolerati to task for their snobbery based on only an attitude, and not any real accomplishment. He does it with devilish calculation with snarky and articulate glee dripping from every word.
The laundry list is long: Fad diets (he worked with a guy whose skin had turned orange because he only ate foods rich in beta carotene), the priests of global warming, the media love affair with surviving Boston Marathon bomber, attacks on the nuclear family and religion, illegal immigrants, accolades, pretty much anything that is part of modern culture.
Though he openly states he’s half agnostic and half atheist, he says modern society is worse for open attacks on religion, and the family. He’s got a lot of great things to say about the LDS church, Mitt Romney, and Utah’s newest member of Congress, Mia Love. “Real charity has no fanfare. Social consciousness, however, is often nothing but that. It’s fanfare designed to create fans for those publicly displaying their concern (pg 48).”
Gutfeld, crank that he is, gives the best sermon on reasons to avoid pre-marital sex that you’ll hear outside of church. “Feminists prefer to view virgins as people who are repressed rather than a smart person avoiding the mistakes made by her peers. Shouldn’t they be saluting this girl for not falling prey to the male pig? Shouldn’t they be shouting ‘Right on, sister?’ to Lolo, since she’s not giving it to the man? Shouldn’t her strength, her independence, be championed? The same press that idolizes people with dangerous lifestyles and destructive habits views Lolo as a goofball, despite the fact that her lifestyle is infinitely healthier than all the screwups around her. Furthermore, the press elevates those who adopt healthy lifestyles in the area of fitness and nutrition. But, if you play it totally safe–sexually, for the sake of a sound mind and body–then you’re actually unhealthy (185-186).”
So what does he think is cool? The old stuff: Veterans, the nuclear family “Perhaps it’s time to champion that (the nuclear family) as an alternate lifestyle…Because in reality that’s what it’s become. It’s also tougher, by the way. Responsibility always is (pg 151).” “Delayed gratification never leads to failure…ever (pg 187);” the people who work their butts off to make something happen; the military, “It’s the last place on earth to be poisoned by the toxins of political correctness (23-40);” Russian immigrants, “They’re more capitalist than the capitalists who were born here, and they have no illusions about socialism. Don’t mess with them (pg 239).” In fact he’s got a whole list of things that are cool by their uncoolness in the final chapter.
I don’t agree with his view on gay marriage, but he does make a more sensible case for it than most others who have championed it. Gutfeld’s snide sense of humor is in its full glory as he carves up sacred cows to be barbequed on his sequoia-wood fueled grill. He’s P.J. O’Rourke’s heir apparent, and I love reading him. He’s smart and funny, and wiser than all the people he lampoons. There is hardly a page here that isn’t underlined. I can’t wait for his next book.
Rich welcomes questions and comments from readers. You can contact him at [email protected]
