CARTOON: ‘Trump’s “Presidential Apprentice” program’

A friend was discussing why he likes Trump and his bombastic style (which is very similar to my friend’s personal style, except that he doesn’t have zillions to smack the press and politicians around with). We agreed that Trump is likable because he says what he thinks and doesn’t have a “mouth-o-meter” built into his brain, which measures everything he says before he says it.

As president, this apparent genetic defect would save taxpayers a lot of cash. Clinton spent around 20 grand on Greenburg polling every night so he would know to say nothing the next morning when the press came sniffing around. He at least knew not to mention Paula Jones or Jennifer Flowers in front of the press. But for this, he didn’t need Greenburg. He could have just called my grandma for her opinion for some real wisdom … except that she would not have taken his call.

Trump could still use a pollster to tell him which direction the political winds are blowing, but the fact that he doesn’t seem to care just makes him all the more appealing to many voters. In other words, candor is more interesting than a guy who panders. Who knew? Not Clinton or Mrs. Clinton … or the Republican leadership.

Anyway, my pal suggested that Trump revive his “Apprentice” TV show with a fresh “public service” angle: “The Presidential Apprentice.”

After Trump is elected, he should invite politicians and political hacks onto his program. No expensive sets need to be built. They’d use the Oval Office — after, of course, removing that linoleum-covered coffee table, among other crappy décor installed by Obama. Trump would scrutinize their official acts, voting records, graft, lobbyist pals, backroom deals, banking records, personal taste in hookers, etc. You know, the usual DC insider stuff. Then for a brief round table with his kids and then let the interviewee justify his past political shenanigans. He could utilize a loud buzzer, a large shepherd’s crook, large Marshals, large Mafioso fellas, or one of those five-ton black weights that would suddenly descend from the heavens on top of squeamish prevaricators on Monty Python to terminate the self-justification baloney. Maybe a speeding locomotive. Very theatrical. You know how tiresome politicians can be when they get into their self-serving mode. Trump would be after good ratings, not comatose viewers.

Imagine watching Harry Reid on “The Presidential Apprentice,” trying to justify his turtle ranching and being chummy with the Chinese communists while under the skeptical gaze of Trump and his kids. And then hearing Trump say, “You’re fired.” Obamacare bureaucrats would need to invent a new category for people who hurt themselves laughing as Harry is whisked away.

How about watching Rahm “Tutu” Emanuel getting grilled about the fact that out of the 500 investigations of cops shooting civilians in Chicago since 2007, only one may not have been justified.

How about the senator who was a regular at some prostitution outfit specializing in underage girls (and boys? I don’t remember) on some obscure island in the Carribean.

How about grilling Hillary (even though “it doesn’t matter” now) about Benghazi? Or that two or six billion dollars (who can remember this detail stuff?) that went mysteriously missing over at the U.S Department of State on her watch. And then the emails!?

Trump wouldn’t need to be limited to public firings. He could also terminate fat federal pensions and special federally funded healthcare. In extreme cases, he could whip out a special handwritten executive order and have the wrong-doer jugged for life right in front of the cameras. Public shaming of clowns too fearful to come on the show? Issue a summons. “Failure to appear to be pilloried.” It’s beautiful!

And Trump wouldn’t need to be limited to currently sitting crooks. He could go after past … executives.

“The Presidential Apprentice” wouldn’t need to be Stalinesque or anything crude. What fun!