Are you comparing yourself to their “A” side on social media?

Are you comparing yourself to their “A” side on social media?

“Social media is training us to compare our lives, instead of appreciating everything we are. No wonder everyone is always depressed.” —Bill Murray

I love FaceBook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter!

Social media offer the opportunity to connect with family and friends near and far. They help me meet new contacts and, quite frankly, give me another reason to waste time!

But is all that instant connection really good for us? We seem to be looking at others’ lives through the short view of the “A” side and comparing our lives to the lives we see everyone else living through social media.

If you are not a Gen X or Z, you probably remember those wonderful old 45’s: those small, two-song records that let you hear the artists’ best on the “A” side! The “B” side seldom had a great song. It was a title that was being tried out or just a song to fill the other side.

So how does this apply to social media?

The “A” side (almost always posted to social media): Wow! Look at our amazing vacation in an exotic location!

The “B” side (almost never posted to social media): Crap! Getting here was a horrible experience. We fought the whole time. The hotel lost our reservation..

The “A” side: “See our beautiful children (or grandchildren, or pets, etc.)!

The “B” side: “The mess in the house today is awful! I need a cleaning crew. I just don’t have time for this.

The “A side: “Posted picture of my amazing ‘beach body!’”

The “B” side: “I have worked my tail off for so long. Don’t get me wrong, it is worth it … but the time it took, the desserts I gave up, and the dinner parties I spent eating celery you just wouldn’t believe!”

I would hope that we all have an “A” side that we focus on. That is the positivity that we all need. It feeds us and keeps us grounded and happy. Don’t stop! And keep posting that. I love seeing happy successful people having a great time!

But we can all imagine and have experienced the “B” side as well.

My question is, are you comparing your life and your experiences to the “A” side of others?

The good news is that your life, your experiences, and your efforts are awesome just the way you are.

Don’t believe me? Try this: Put down your device, take a deep breath, and be authentically, truly you. Take a few minutes and appreciate who you are, what you do, and all the gifts you have, no matter how big or small.

There is an “A” side in every “B” side situation, just as Tony Bennett found out in “I Left My Heart In San Francisco.” Go ahead and Google that.

Here’s a quick example.

“I went to a restaurant, and the food was lousy.” That’s the “B” side.

“I went to a restaurant with friends, and we had a great time!” That’s the “A” side.

The situation is the same: The story is the one you want to tell, not just on a social media post or to your friends but to yourself. What stories do you tell yourself? Are they positive? Are they uplifting?

What can you do?

There are plenty of ideas to break the social media habit — ironically on social media. Start small. Have a social media free day, or at least a few hours. When engaging with friends, have a phone basket, or if needed a lock box. Take some photos of the group, then put those phones away and really be present with yourself and others.

Doing this is challenging. We gave this a try at a friendly gathering recently, and a question about a current event came up. The entire group, especially the teenagers, were at the brink of crazy from not being able to ask Siri about it. It ended up becoming a huge laugh. We all guessed at the answer, and when the phones where released, it was fascinating how smart we are without immediately turning to our devices.

As fun as it has been to write this article, I do need to remind you that depression is a real and frightening mental health issue. If you feel overwhelmed and are struggling to cope, please reach out. Talk about your sadness and frustrations with a trusted friend or family member, and don’t hesitate to seek the help of a professional.

Now get out there, and create your “A” side! And keep me “posted.”

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