CARTOON: “Trump Veep Stakes”

From Clay Jones on his political cartoon “Trump Veep Stakes,” Donald Trump’s quest for a vice president, and the HeMan Women Haters Club

The New York Times published an article last Sunday that Donald Trump describes as a hit piece. That means it’s a must-read.

Trump is upset that the article paints him as a charter member of the HeMan Women Haters Club, though it doesn’t attribute any statements to him worse than anything he’s said on tape. In fact, a great portion of the article covers his promoting women in his businesses and placing them in leadership roles.

One of the women is upset, saying her comments were taken out of context and that The Times promised it wouldn’t be a hit piece. I’m not sure of that as reporters usually don’t promise an interviewee what sort of coverage they’re going to receive. I did find it bizarre that this one subject talked about how uncomfortable Trump made her feel when they first met and then dated him. But hey, money changes everything.

Trump is promising to sue The Times for libel. You can laugh or roll your eyes at this point. First off, he usually doesn’t follow through on a threat, and second, he doesn’t have a case. The New York Times hasn’t reported anything on him that’s worse than what he’s accused Bill Clinton of doing.

Trump says the report that he’s been sexist or misogynistic is false and that he’s always respected women. I don’t find the comments in the article difficult to believe as this man has been on tape before describing a woman being flat-chested, how he’d like to see one on her knees, how he’d probably date his daughter, and speculating on his youngest daughter’s potential breasts when she was an infant.

Trump doesn’t make you give him a normal “ew.” When he talks about his daughters in a sexual context it’s more of an “EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!” Donald Trump, what the hell is wrong with you?

There’s also a lot of talk about Trump’s Vice Presidential nominee and who it will be. We’ve been talking about that when we’re not talking about him objectifying women or impersonating his publicist to talk about his own sex life.

I would have bet my money on Trump nominating a woman. That would balance his ticket and help him run against a woman. But now that the party is fractured, I believe the smart thing would be to nominate an establishment type. The type who’s educated on government, foreign policy, and basically how things work, which is all stuff Trump doesn’t have a clue on or any interest in understanding. I can’t think of any female in the GOP establishment who hasn’t said “hell no” to being Trump’s running mate that really fits that bill, except for one: Jan Brewer, kinda establishment but not Washington establishment and she’s kinda stupid.

There’s Sarah Palin, and if there is a god he will nominate her, but she doesn’t understand how anything works either except for a GOP expense account. Carly Fiorina could be the first person ever nominated twice in one year, but she’s not establishment and, again, doesn’t understand how things work. Plus, I don’t think Trump could stand to look at Fiorina on a daily basis. Michele Bachmann, no. Again, stupid. Nikki Haley would be an excellent choice as she’s smart, educated, and knows how things work. The establishment loves her — even Democrats like her and she can sway Independents — and she’s pretty enough for a sexist pig. Alas, I said she’s smart, which means she won’t have anything to do with the career suicide of a Trump campaign.

That leaves Iowa Senator Joni Ernst. She’s a hideous human being, but she’s Washington. She’s fairly new to the establishment, but she also has Tea Party support. She can rile up the base. Her downside is that she probably doesn’t really know how things work, but she can probably fake it. She’s also castrated hogs, and that might discourage Trump from being around her.

Seriously, Trump probably doesn’t wanna be around a woman capable of cutting a pig’s nuts off.

claytoonz.com/2016/05/17/trump-veep-stakes

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