Fear and gratitude cannot coexist.
The word “fear” is one that has resonated through global consciousness following the recent vicious attacks in Beirut, Paris, and Mali. Many people are afraid of what is going to happen next and where it will happen.
What does fear mean to you?
Synonyms for fear include panic, alarm, apprehension, trepidation, terror, and anxiety. Do these words apply to your life in southern Utah or wherever you live? Fear implies that something awful may happen; it relates to what could happen, not what will happen. Our minds and imagination determine the extend of our fears.
Are you panicked about running out of water? Are you worried about a local golf course becoming overgrown with weeds and affecting your property value? Are you apprehensive that your family may be threatened by Muslims? Are you alarmed by those different from yourself? Are you anxious about the future?
Why?
Is it because of something definite or imagined? A certainty or a possibility? Please take a few moments to think about that as you continue reading.
According to Natasha Sharma, a psychotherapist, being scared and fearful is not only common, it’s completely natural. She states in a 2012 article in Huffington Post Canada, “There’s two types of fears. One is natural, as humans we are born with the ability to feel fear and we need this in order to determine everyday threats — basically animal instinct … the second type of fear occurs when we’re exposed to other people or overwhelming experiences in our lives that inflate our sense of fear. This type of fear is irrational fear and it varies by person. Some people will always be more fearful than others.”
It might be positive to be fearful of a bear in the wild, but it may not be constructive to be fearful of new experiences.
In “Fear…Your Worst Enemy” by Dr. Philip Holder, Ph.D, the signs of fear are explained, and the most intense are anger and hatred; both evident in U.S. society today. According to Holder, “Those who act out their insecurities as anger are the most fearful of all people. … If you practice fear (anger) every day, you will become a fearful and angry person. People often train themselves to perpetuate these negative behaviors. There are times when this behavior has been practiced for so long that the person is unaware that they have a problem with fear and anger.”
It’s troubling the extent to which some news networks and radio hosts (I’m sure you can fill in the names) use fear as a weapon to immobilize people and limit their ability to live life to its fullest. Currently these “news folks” are shouting that we must be fearful of Muslims fleeing persecution and wanting to come to the United States as they are terrorists. It’s even been suggested that we register Muslims, which harkens back to World War II with the Japanese in our country and Jews in Germany. Does allowing women, men, and children fleeing oppression and seeking a better life negatively impact your life and your well-being? Are there folks in your family who came from other countries to find better lives in these United States? Were they feared, shunned, or entered into a database?
What does this have to do with gratitude?
As we celebrate Thanksgiving this week, please think about whether it’s possible to experience fear as you bow your head in gratitude for the goodness in your life. During the past few weeks while many have been fearful, I’ve been infused with gratitude by an amazing outpouring of goodness as people in our community contacted the Erin Kimball Memorial Foundation, which provides transitional housing to survivors of domestic violence, to make generous donations for Thanksgiving. The Rotary Club of Dixie Sunrise assisted the participants with twenty gift cards from Smith’s grocery store to make Thanksgiving a more festive and filling occasion for Erin Kimball’s families. More individuals have donated turkeys and items for the Angels Closet. I know other local nonprofits had similar experiences; a heartfelt thank you to all who graciously shared their bounty.
As you enjoy family, friends, and all the trimmings on Thursday, I hope gratitude, and not fear, fills your life. As Jane Goodall said, “You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.”
Do it with gratitude … not anger and fear.
