How long can one be in Utah without hearing the phrase, “families are forever”? Not long, I’d wager. However, behaving as if families are forever is not just unrealistic. It’s tragic.
I think everyone should be free to believe whatever they want, no matter how unrealistic those beliefs may be. The right to believe in fantastic notions is one of the cornerstones of American values — and I’m an American, damnit.
But two things we often fail to discriminate between in these conversations are beliefs and actions.
For example, if you believe that Satan is worth worshiping, you have the right to do that. I would defend that right, and many have already died doing so. However, if you are sacrificing children in worshiping Satan, we have a problem.
If you believe that you can fly, that’s great! Go you! If you jump off of a building because you believe that you can fly, you are going to splatter your silly beliefs all over the sidewalk.
Just because you have the right to believe as you choose does not mean that choosing to believe in silly things and then acting upon them is wise, sane, safe, or good.
If you have a family whom you care about, you should remember that you have them right now — and that’s all the guarantee you have. You could get hit by a car an hour within reading this. So could a parent, child, spouse, etc. The next time you say “I love you” to your child could be the last time you ever speak to him or her. Those moments do not last forever.
To say that families are forever is to lessen the magnitude of the gifts of love and life and thereby cheapen them. This rhetoric minimizes the urgency of every precious, irreplaceable moment you have with your loved ones. To potentially waste those moments due to belief in a mere notion is nothing short of tragic. And if you really do believe in God, who do you think gave you those moments?
Saying that families are forever sounds nice — unless your family was abusive, in which case that sounds like an eternity in hell. Believing that you will never die, that you will never get sick, that you will never be hurt, that you will never grow old, and that you can fart rainbows is nice, but how realistic is it?
This “families are forever” idea comes from Mormon theology. I fully support anyone’s right to believe in Mormon doctrine as well as any and all religious flights of fancy in which anyone cares to indulge. However, when it comes to choosing our daily behaviors, it’s important to keep it real. There’s too much at stake not to. If you believe in God, why do you think she gave you a brain? If God wanted you to act like a sheep, would she not have just made you a sheep?
Roughly speaking, the idea behind “families are forever” is that when you die you’ll get your own planet where, as long as you jumped through all the right hoops, you’ll reign forever, and your whole family — even those whom you can’t stand — will be there with you, unbearably, forever. I assume that this will be a life-sustaining planet that lies in the habitable zone near a star that’s just right. Since this is eternity, I assume that this is a magic star that never runs out of fuel or something. Actually, all transfer of energy to matter and vice versa would basically have to stop for this eternity-on-a-real-planet notion to pan out. All time and motion would have to stop completely. So for this “families are forever” notion to actually work, the universe would have to come to a screeching halt. Obviously, the entire idea and everything it’s built upon immediately collapse under scrutiny.
Dear friends, families are most certainly not forever. Nothing on this beautiful planet of ours is forever, because nothing that’s made out of protons, neutrons, and electrons is forever. Heck, even photons, neutrons, and electrons aren’t forever. That is, unless you want to get into Buddhism and quantum mechanics, in which case I might cede that everything is forever … in which case I might then ask why one would single out families — or for that matter why temples and secret handshakes and whatever other bells and whistles are necessary in making something that’s already forever even more forever.
I see people wasting their lives working to get richer when they already have way more than they will ever need. I see people caught in the delusions of fear, desire, and ignorance. I see people hypnotized by their various consumer electronics while their loved ones are within arm’s reach. And I see people living recklessly and making poor decisions, both personally and for our community, that have a deleterious effect on our present and our immediate future. I see people forgetting that they’re right here, right now.
Families are not forever. Families are right here, right now. Don’t waste what you’ve been given, because when it’s gone, it’s gone.
I have never been to medical school, I haven’t even seen a pumping heart in real life, but let me tell you how to do triple by-pass surgery on your loved one. I’m pretty sure I’m right and you will be successful in that surgery because I’ve heard some of my doctor friends talk about triple by-pass and I’ve read about it. Therefore you can have complete confidence in me that I know enough about it to be correct and that what I say on how to do it is right.
When you write an opinion piece on, in this case, a religion you obviously know nothing about its similar to the analogy I just stated above. Families are Forever. I have ancestors who wrote things down in journals so that I could read about their lives, I have journals of my own and my kids memories will live on in journals that they keep. This is one example of families are forever. But your article is talking about the fact that LDS know that their is life after death and that we can have eternal families. If you think that we don’t treasure this precious life here on earth because we believe in the hereafter, then you know nothing about our religion. Every moment we live here on this earth is important and is crucial to living with our families forever. Alot of people, including Mormons, let life get in the way and forget about how important families are. And there are those who have had horrible childhoods and who would want to be with that family forever? Well, then you live YOUR life and love your family as to have them forever, it can start with you. You don’t need to understand that Families are Forever, but they are. I’m grateful to know that my parents, my spouse,my children and future grandchildren will always be apart of my life FOREVER.
Okay friend, if you “know” rather than merely “believe,” do your religion a great service and prove it. If one merely “believes,” one does not “know.” That was a large part of my argument, which in your indignation you seemed to miss.
Jason, I learn things from your articles that I would never ascertain anywhere else unless I knew what to look for. Even the counter opinions of others shed light as well. Some beliefs are really unique and different. All I can add from a BELIEF perspective is that throughout the majority of my life I have only been asked what is my religion two or three times and that is at least a half century. Since I moved here I have been asked my religion at least five times if not more. Religion here seems to be a way of judging people. This makes your article appropriate from the context of the local culture… I would assume the Mormon belief system can handle it without taking offense. Maybe I am wrong. Either way I enjoyed the article and really don’t care what others believe. For me true religion starts after the words are left behind.
Well said.
It must be a Monday, a day after a holiday. Jason got a tiny piece of ham and a small glass of wine for dinner and he’s pissed.
And Jason knows it’s considered politically correct now a days, to bash folks, their beliefs, and the way they walk through life. Their all stupid but him right? Go back and reread his article if you must. And please remember, Jason has dead lines to meet on his opinion comitments. So if anybody got offended by this article, let it slide. And send Jason a big fat ham sandwich and offer to say a prayer for the dude or a bottle of quality wine.
if you meet the Buddha on the road kill him. Or since we are talking ham, perhaps the saying “it is unwise to throw pearls to swine” is more appropriate. Needless to say HARMONS ham, potatoes, and green bean casserole last Sunday was delicious. PS… killing the Buddha is a metaphor. And no real Buddhist would be offended. Hey we even have a news personality on local Utah TV called Big Buddha and once again no true Buddhist would take offense to that. Other religions seem to get offended more often than the Buddhist religion… Why is that? Maybe it’s not a religion. Or maybe they preach what they practice. Or maybe it’s a philosophy. Or maybe it is all about nothing.
I have told many friends the 3 scariest words in the english language are “familes are forever” and I believe it! Good article.