As this year comes to a close, many of us once again make New Year’s resolutions. After all, what better time to take an accounting of our lives, and try to fix or change what we don’t like? It doesn’t matter if it pertains to our weight, our organizations skills, or our tendency to procrastinate. There always seems to be room for improvement. Not only can this annual ritual be a benefit to us as parents, but it can also benefit our children as well. While we as adults might not have a problem knowing how to set a New Year’s goal, many children might feel overwhelmed and will need Mom or Dad’s help in making a New Year’s resolution.
Sitting down together as a family and discussing what worked last year and what didn’t is a good place to start in helping kids make New Year’s resolutions. Since you are sitting down as a family, why not first try to set some family goals as well as individual goals? One such a goal could be to spend more time together by setting aside one night a week to turn off all technology and do family activities together. This could include playing board games, having a picnic, or even going for a walk or hike. Any types of activities your family enjoys doing together is a good place to start and can show your children that goals can be fun, not just trying to do things that are hard.
Don’t be afraid to try new things together or to do activities that include values that you want to encourage, such as volunteering at a local shelter or collecting items for those less fortunate in your community. These types of activities not only strengthen families, they also help to shape the character of the type of person our children will someday become.
The first thing we need to do to start in helping kids make New Year’s resolutions is to sit down with them to reflect on the past year and on things that they might need improving on. Then we can help them single out and set their goals.
Secondly, we as parents need to make sure that their goals are reasonable as well as achievable. It’s OK to have a goal that is just out of reach so that they will have to stretch their potential to reach it. However, if they make their goal to easy to achieve, they won’t be improving, and they also won’t feel the thrill of pride that you get when you have accomplished a hard task. Aristotle said, “Man is a goal seeking animal. His life only has meaning if he is reaching out and striving for his goals.”
Next, we need to help them make a plan. A good way to do this is to help them narrow down goals into small chunks that they can actually do. For example, making a goal to get all A’s in school might not be a reasonable or achievable goal for some children. Instead, encourage them to set a goal to bring their grades up in certain subjects such as math. Then once they have a goal in mind, help them to make steps on how they are actually going to achieve it. For instance, they could set a goal to study math facts every night for 10 minutes or to do their math homework as soon as they get some from school instead of putting it off until later that evening when they might not feel like doing it anymore.
Mini-goals such as these are much more attainable and more likely to have your child sticking to their goals instead of giving up because they have lost hope.
Knowing that they have your support is a great asset for them and could mean the difference between achievement and failure. Children as well as adults relish the feeling of having accomplished a goal. This is especially true when parents acknowledges a job well-done.
The next way we can help them is to record their progress. It’s hard for anyone, including adults, to keep working towards a goal if you can’t see how far you have come. Charts work well for kids and are a great way to visually give them motivation to keep going. You can make your own, buy one in the store, or find one online that will work for you. Many websites have templates that you can download and personalize to fit your individual needs.
Another way we can help them is by being and staying positive. Many times, we as adults don’t realize how negative we might be, especially when it comes to how we feel about ourselves. This negative self-talk that many parents do can give a negative spin to goals our children might have also. We need to be the role model for our children to follow. We can let them know that though you might have small setbacks when it comes to reaching a goal but that we can always try again and keep on trying until we reach it.
Lastly, as you revisit the goals during the year, make sure that you not only stay positive and encouraging but that you also don’t overly criticize or punish for not reaching a goal. Resolutions are guides that can help us improve and become better people. They should never be written in stone and absolute. Many times, flexibility is crucial as needs and maturity level change. As it is with us adults, we need to remind our children that we are constantly changing and that goals can be changed as our individual needs change. There is nothing wrong with reevaluating our goals to see if they are still worth working toward. The most important thing we can teach our children is that anything in life worth achieving is worth trying again and again for as many times as it is needed.
Helping kids make New Year’s resolutions can be a great starting point for children and parents alike to work together and make your family stronger. It can also be a great way to teach children about how to make and achieve goals. Achieving a goal can be a great reward, but learning how to reach success is the ultimate reward that will help them their entire lives.
