Written by Heather HymasWhat do you do when you feel alone? How do you find a way out when a dark cloud seems to be obstructing the sunlight, or an angry elf is blocking out all of your Christmas magic? Feeling alone on this immense planet of ours with over seven billion inhabitants can be sad and frightening at times, but feeling alone over the Holidays can be devastating.
For most of us, the holiday season is a time of happiness, fond memories, parties, family get-togethers, traditions, the joy of receiving, and the joy of giving. As I have become a more avid and adept observer to the world around me, I have come to realize that this is not the case for everyone.
For many people the holidays are a source of sadness and bring on feelings of loneliness, aloneness, or an aching for things that they may not have in their life at the present moment. Some people have lost a loved one close to the holidays, or have lost a loved one recently, which can leave a huge empty void that no Christmas cheer can fill. Others may not have happy holiday memories with which to build upon from their childhood, and some may just be at a time in their life when they are really struggling with something, and the holidays seem to just magnify that struggle.
When someone is already feeling these feelings, having the joy of Christmas and/or Hanukkah bombarding you everywhere you go can feel like being smothered by a reindeer embroidered pillow, or choking on an all-too sweet Christmas cookie. Today, I love the holidays! I get swept-up in the giving, the magic, and the joy I feel during this time, but I also have to remember that this was not always the case. There was a time when the holidays were torture for me, and the emptiness I felt inside could not be filled with all the eggnog and fudge in the world.
So, what can a person do to get themselves out of the Christmas Blues? I recently posted a comment on my Facebook page asking people what they do when they feel alone. I wanted to share the answers with you in hopes that if you are feeling lonely or sad this holiday season one of these ideas might help you and let a little Christmas Cheer shine through your dark cloud.
I want to give a shout-out to everyone who posted and thank them for sharing with such honesty and passion (especially Edgar, who said …drink lots of whiskey… cry a little… but make sure Old Yeller is on so no one thinks I’m a wuss—stellar advice my friend–this made me laugh very hard). I have taken the answers and listed them for you, not in any particular order, as I feel each one is just as valid and important. Take what you can use, what feels right for you, and maybe even try something new. I know for me, doing something different is sometimes the only way out of my own negative thinking or patterns (it is the opposite of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results), so try something new, or try something you have forgotten about, but you need to believe that this absolutely will pass and it absolutely will get better.
My friend Lisa posted those words, and I can attest to them as the truth. The only thing we are guaranteed in this life is change, and no matter how much things may seem like nothing but a lump of coal in your stocking, you can change that gift into a beautiful shiny snow globe full of hope for the future. Here is the list, some are very serious, some you may find extremely difficult, and others might just make you laugh or smile, but that is okay too. After all, laughter really is the best medicine.
1. Go within: Feel the feelings, allow them to be ok, walk through the emotions, have a good long cry, and then release them—let them go.
2. Do something just for myself: Do something to pamper you, give yourself the gift of something you wouldn’t normally spend your money or time on, do something that feeds your soul and makes you happy.
3. Be in nature: Hike, run, take a long walk and appreciate the beauty of nature, sit by a stream or the ocean, connect with the birds, the wind, and the trees (it’s shown to improve mental health).
4. Listen to music: Turn it up and let the music take you where it wants to go, or better yet, go listen to some live music and support local art.
5. Write: Writing can be not only therapeutic, but it is a great way to release emotions, and/or maybe tell someone something whom you can no longer talk to.
6. Pray: Read inspirational literature, attend a religious service, make a connection with something bigger than yourself.
7. Reach out to people: If no one is calling you, call or text them, invite people over, join a club or gym, start a new hobby, or plan an activity with someone you have been missing.
8. Laugh: Watch a funny movie, read something funny, look at old pictures that make you smile, watch a comedian/comedy show, whatever it is, get yourself smiling and laughing.
9. Make a gratitude list: No matter what your life is missing, we all have so many things to be grateful for, focus on the positive (you are breathing) and all the things you do have.
10. Volunteer: Do something for someone else, sometimes focusing on someone else’s needs is the best way to get out of our own mind and to not feel alone. There are so many volunteer opportunities during the holidays that one could literally find something to do for someone else, or a charity, all month long.
If you are feeling the holiday blues, or know someone that is, I hope this list will inspire you to do something different, or at least bring you a little bit of holiday magic. The best gift we can give ourselves is to be happy. If you give no other gift this year, give yourself the gift of a little holiday joy.
Facebook post credits: Tamra, Treesa, Shannon, Lisa, Jenni, Kelly, Donielle, Nancy, Sarah, George, Jeanette, Valli, Edgar, Teresa, Melinda, Lisa, & Buster. Thank you to ALL of my friends for being there when I am feeling alone and are being too stupid to do anything about it.
