MOVIE REVIEW: SCREAM 7 (R)
Grade: C-
As the end credits for “Scream 7” began to roll, I was left to ponder if what I just watched was, by design, ingeniously meant to be the exact kind of movie that the original film spent a great deal of its runtime playfully mocking over 3 decades ago, or…If “Scream 7” just wasn’t very good movie. Sadly, for this horror fan, it was more of the latter.
After a turbulent whirlwind that saw the makers of “Scream 5” and “Scream 6” departing “Scream 7” so that they could focus their attention on “Abigail,” a potential seventh entry would continue hitting multiple snags shortly thereafter including the departure of director Christopher Landon (“Happy Death Day”) as well as set-to-return “Scream 5” and “Scream 6” stars Melissa Barrera and Jenna Ortega, both of whom departed for reasons that we don’t really need to spend time getting into in this review.
With no director and no stars attached, the decision was ultimately made to jump into “nostalgia” mode and bring in Kevin Williamson (the screenwriter behind “Scream” chapters 1, 2, and 4) to try his hand at directing again for the first time since his only other directing credit, 1999’s all but forgotten “Teaching Mrs. Tingle.” Original “Scream” final girl Neve Campbell was also brought back (no doubt, she was given the payday she asked for after being denied what she was rightfully worth in the last film.)
In “Scream 7,” Sidney Prescott-Evans is living a seemingly peaceful life in a new hometown with her police officer husband (played by Joe McHale) and her sometimes angsty but good-hearted daughter, Tatum (played by Isabel May). For the most part, she’s put a terrifying past behind her, but of course, it isn’t long before Ghostface is back, wreaking havoc once more, and ultimately, it’ll take the likes of Sidney, Tatum, and intrepid (and obnoxious) reporter Gale Weathers (played by Courtney Cox) to put a stop to a new string of grisly killings in what could be best described as a fan-servicey whodunnit. Whodunnit, you ask? Like that’ll be spoiled in this review. That being said, it’s pretty easy to solve the mystery within the first half of the movie.
Admittedly, it’s fun having Campbell back here’ and it’s certainly cool seeing her play this role more tough-as-nails. This is to say that her turn here is akin to Laurie Strode in “H20” as opposed to the PTSD-stricken Laurie Strode of the recent “Halloween” trilogy. Likewise, May is pretty good as Tatum, too, although, it’s strange that she’s constantly grilling her mom for information about her tragic past when all she really needed to do was look mon’s story up on the internet…Or watch the “Stab” movies…Or read the book that her mom actually wrote on the subject. Granted, that’s really more about the often uninspired screenplay that, ironically, sometimes feels as if it might have had an uncredited rewrite by AI.
Now, full disclosure; I’ve never been the world’s biggest “Scream” fan. I’m certainly not a hater but whereas meta-tinged slasher films go, I didn’t feel like Wes Craven’s 1996 original did anything that Craven’s very own “New Nightmare” didn’t do more creatively almost 2 years prior. And that particular movie had the extra baggage of being several entries in.
With “Scream 7,” Williamson struggles to find an interesting new way in. There’s a fun opening and there are, of course, the occasional on the nose references to classic horror films of the past (look no further than the iconic 70’s film playing at the town’s single screen movie theater), but rather than making a meta commentary on modern horror (something that the upcoming “Scary Movie 6” looks far more interested in doing), “Scream 7” instead turns its sights on the likes of AI, Chat GPT, and streaming services but this movie never really explores any of these things beyond a service level. Instead, “Scream 7” is more interested in the aforementioned nostalgia (watch for Sidney’s leather jacket), obligatory callbacks (Tatum’s boyfriend crawling through her bedroom window), a handful of returning characters (most of which are incredibly forced), and a few familiar needle drops (Nick Cave being one of the big ones.) Of course, once the new story threads that were set into motion in parts 5 and 6 came to a crashing halt, it was pretty obvious that this was the only direction “Scream 7” could really go.
You can’t really fault Williamson for wanting to come back to the property that essentially gave him his career but for the most part, the proceedings here are pretty uninspired (and in some cases, downright nonsensical) and while there are a handful of kills that deliver the gory goods, some of this stuff (including a gag involving a beer tap in a bar) feels like it belongs in an entirely different slasher film. It should also be noted that Ghostface appears to have superhuman strength in this movie as once certain reveals are made, some might question how on Earth this ultra-talented killer could have pulled some of these crazy shenanigans off, especially from a physicality sense (stabbed, shot, falling from balconies, etc.) That said, to be fair, the same could be said for other entries in this franchise and certainly, movies like this require suspension of disbelief.
Look, “Scream 7” certainly isn’t the worst horror film I’ve ever seen. At the very least, it’s stronger than the worst entries in the “Friday,” “Nightmare,” and “Chainsaw Massacre” franchises but then, that’s a backhanded compliment at best. At the end of the day, though, nothing I’m saying will keep this thing from making a literal killing at the box-office, meaning that we’re sure to get another 10 of these. Let’s just hope that whatever comes next (it’s been speculated that Campbell already has an idea for a future entry) is a little more inspired.
