Movie Review: “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” is dumb but if you’re looking for lean and gory, you’ve come to the right place

MOVIE REVIEW: “TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE” (R)

Way back in 1974, Tobe Hooper unleashed “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” upon the world. This gritty, disturbing, and profoundly shocking microbudget horror show would help usher in the slasher craze that would become all the rage, particularly in the 80s. This film would also go on to inspire a handful of reboots, prequels, and sequels. And given the wild success of David Gordon Green’s recent takes on John Carpenter’s “Halloween,” you had to know it was only a matter of time before we’d see the return of Leatherface.

This take on “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” takes place present-day and serves as a direct sequel of sorts to the original. It even opens with a little bit of John Larroquette narration to set the mood. The crux of the plot–if you want to call it that– finds a group of young entrepreneurial do-gooders looking to revitalize a now virtually deserted Texas town nearly five decades after a human skin-wearing, chainsaw-wielding maniac and his creepy family wreaked havoc in the area. The goal? To turn this ghost town into a sort of utopia for modern residents.

Upon arriving at the town, said do-gooders–confident Dante (Jacob Latimore), bubbly Ruth (Nell Hudson), idealistic Melody (Sarah Yarkin), and haunted Lila (Elsie Fisher)–discover that an elderly lady still resides in one of the supposed vacant buildings and she doesn’t take kindly to the news that she has to leave. The quiet, lumbering, oafish man this woman has taken in is none too pleased about the news, either. Especially after this senile woman dies of a stressed-induced heart attack on the way to the hospital. The death of this woman awakens a dormant beast inside her surrogate son, and it isn’t but a brutal snap of a wrist later that we realize this isn’t just any man. This guy has a history of violence that started…You guessed it…Nearly five decades earlier. Suffice it to say, it isn’t long before Leatherface is back to his old ways. This proves to be bad news for the folks who’ve just arrived to colonize at the ghost town that serves as the film’s primary setting.

This follow-up to a 70s horror classic is partially the brainchild of producer/screenwriter Fede Alvarez, a man who is no stranger to reimagining classics as he was the driving force behind 2013’s “Evil Dead” reboot. With “Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” Alvarez has brought along relative newcomer David Blue Garcia to helm the blood-soaked proceedings. Also along for the ride; A roster of stock characters most of whom aren’t so much as three-dimensional people as they are meat-filled punching bags for Leatherface to plow through. Also along for the ride is Olwen Fouere filling in for the late Marilyn Burns as  Sally, the original film’s final girl. What’s she been doing in the years since she was first terrorized? Well, it seems she’s done a fair share of searching for the evil soul who emotionally wrecked her for life. Why she was never able to find him when he had simply been hanging out in an orphanage not far from where all the chainsaw-heavy carnage first took place, is beyond me.

Listen…This new “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” is relentlessly dumb but at a brisk 80 minutes, it’s lean, vicious, and bloody as f*** (that bus sequence has to be seen to be believed!) and no doubt, that’s what a lot of folks are going to watch it for. What’s more, for all the silliness and WTF moments on display, it’s to be commended for not necessarily picking a political side. I mean, why this movie would even dare to bring some kind of social commentary to the table is a bit misguided in the first place but at least it goes in a few unexpected directions. Translation; Viewers will question the safety of everyone from the gun-toting Texan with Chris Hemsworth-like good looks (Moe Dunford), to the sensitive and strong-willed lead, to the young woman with a tragic past, to the final survivor of the original film.

Further still, this movie even dares to–in oddly hilarious fashion–make Leatherface a victim to a certain degree. Speaking of Leatherface, Mark Burnham is outstanding in the role perfectly embodying the moves and terrifying spirit of an iconic cinematic boogeyman initially brought to life by Gunnar Hansen way back in 1974. As for Sally, it’s clear that Alvarez and crew are taking a bit of a page from the Laurie Strode playbook in the recent “Halloween” movies in terms of her character. That said, there is a little bit of subversion at play here, as well. Sally certainly isn’t a murderer, but in some ways, she’s nearly as unhinged as Leatherface is!

In the end, this “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” isn’t anywhere close to being in the same league as the original film. It also can’t match the bonkers, off-the-wall craziness of Tobe Hooper’s underappreciated sequel from 1986. Still, there’s a weird sense of fun to be had here. This movie is gross and it’s ridiculous but it’s kind of a fun throwback to 80s slasher horror and I’ll be darned if I wasn’t sporadically entertained. Check it out on Netflix…If you dare.

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