Written by Paul DailI have grown disgusted by the abuse of our language characterized by the lack of thought some people believe is required to use it.
As children we tried to fool both ourselves and those who taunted us that while sticks and stones may break our bones, words would never hurt us. As we grew older, we admitted that sometimes words hurt us the worst, that the physical scratches and bruises would heal and fade away, but the inner pain remained.
Words are the most powerful tools we have. And the most dangerous weapons. They can build a magnificent civilization, or destroy the human spirit. Mere words have changed the course of human history. Men and women have fought and died in the act of defending or denying them.
One only has to look at such examples as “nigger,” “fag,” and “retarded” to see the importance of the language and words we choose to use in relation to how they affect others. In my former life as a high school English teacher, whenever I taught my classes Steinbeck’s “Of Mice and Men,” I always started with a discussion of language and how certain words, such as “nigger,” have changed in meaning since their inception. I told them how the profanity used by the working men was real, that it wasn’t necessarily polite or grammatically correct, but it was how these guys talked.
However, even given our discussion, every year I had at least one student who chose not to read the book because they were offended by the language (especially offensive in southern Utah was all of the taking of the Lord’s name in vain).
Not even the season of good will is immune to scrutiny of how we choose to spread said good will, as some insist on “Happy Holidays,” while others believe they should be able to say “Merry Christmas” to whomever, regardless of religious affiliation.
While some may decry these individual examples as overly sensitive or uber-politically correct, I see them en masse as a demonstration of the powerful effect of language. And it makes me crazy to see the lack of thought and consideration used in so many forms of communication these days.
Some may say this ire results from being an English teacher, and admittedly, if I had to hear one more student say, “Me and my friend are doing something” (especially after I had just taught them the correct way to say it), I would probably lose my mind.
Or maybe it’s because I’m a writer. I heard somewhere (in other words, don’t quote me) that Hemingway edited each individual sentence until he felt it was perfect before moving on to the next one.
You won’t find many authors who recommend this form of editing (including myself), but here was a man passionate about the presentation of his thoughts to the world and the power of words when assembled with more than just a passing consideration of the meaning those words conveyed.
I’d like to believe I demonstrate at least a fraction of that type of consideration, but even before I got serious about writing, I was serious about effective communication. When I was still a younger, courtin’ man, I often wrote out things I wanted to say before calling a girl for the first time… and sometimes even the subsequent two or three calls.
These days, my wife says my tendency to compose the scripts in my head for our conversations can get me in trouble because I stand a good chance of getting her lines wrong, especially if it’s a particularly touchy topic. But hey, it’s important enough to me to at least start a conversation expressing myself exactly how I intended.
While it may be a combination of all of those factors that makes me angry when I see the lack of respect for the power of words, I mostly blame the new technological age of communication…or lack thereof. And while I’m spreading a wide net here, I’ll also say it’s this recent culture of instant gratification.
While I could go on forever over the incorrect usage I see on a daily basis of “their/there/they’re” or “your/you’re,” or the fact that some kids are so lazy that they have started incorporating shortcuts such as “jk” or “btw” into their everyday speech, that’s not what really gets my goat. It’s the lack of consideration for others, both in the composition of thought and communication of message.
Given the power of language, we often wield words like they are toy pistols, especially when we no longer have to see the whites of their eyes before firing off random Facebook shots at people we’ve never even met. Once upon a time, people used to write letters, taking the time to sit down and think before putting pen to parchment. These days, a response can be flippantly forwarded at the flip of a finger, and the finger that frequently flips is the middle one. (too much alliteration? I told you, I love this language)
Although I haven’t yet been the victim as a journalist of such vitriol, I know many writers who regularly receive “letters” (simply known as “comments” in this digital age) full of words spelled out in ALL CAPS and multiple exclamation points, letters which might have been thrown in the trash if we still lived in a day where you had to write them out, look at them as you put them into an envelope, and pay to send them off to the newspaper.
Suddenly it’s so easy to call names, point fingers, and sling insults that would never be uttered if two people were standing in the same room. I’ve seen threats and accusations. I’ve even been personally guilty of drastic misunderstandings, at which point I curse this damned electronic communication that has little to do with a constructive exchange of ideas and often just causes confusion.
People used to take time to think before they spoke, but these days people speak first with thinking being merely an afterthought. Or worse, simply a reaction to an escalating war of words, used only to fuel more incendiary comments to keep a fight going that never should have started in the first place.
I’m not trying to tell you not to speak your mind. Again, words have the power to blow holes in battleships or give hope to the battered. The key is how you choose to express yourself. In his 1927 prose poem “Desiderata,” American writer Max Ehrman said, “Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant. They too have their stories.”
Quietly and clearly. Not shouted or spat. Full of passion, but with an eye on control. While social media and “text speak” may have denigrated language to a series of shortcuts and symbols, we would do well to remember that what we say has actual meaning and carries power outside of our personal sphere of interpretation.
Speaking of comments, as always, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Are there any examples I’ve missed? Am I being oversensitive, or do you share in my passion for the language? For the first two weeks following the publication of each of my columns, I personally respond to all comments within 48 hours.
Paul D. Dail received his BFA in English with a Creative Writing emphasis from the University of Montana, Missoula. In addition to freelance journalism and web content creation, he also enjoys writing creative nonfiction and fiction (with a penchant for the darker side of the page). His collection of flash fiction, “Free Five,” has spent over a year and a half in the top 50 Kindle Horror Shorts Stories since its publication in 2012. Currently he lives on the outskirts of Kanarraville, surrounded by the sagebrush and pinyon junipers, with his wife and two children.
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