Parenting tips for dealing with holiday stress

—Set realistic expectations. Not everything will go as planned around the holidays. The food may not turn out as planned, and things can get spilled or broken. Be positive, flexible, and open to changes and messes. Try not to overschedule activities to the point that they become more stressful than enjoyable.

—Pay attention to bids for connection. Children thrive when their parents give them attention, affection, and connection. Plan to give them your dedicated time at least once per day, offering full attention for whatever they want to do, like board games, playing in the snow, reading books, etc.

—Hold up the emotional mirror. Many parents will see a range of emotions from children around the holidays. Mirror their excitement, show understanding when they are sad, and express empathy when they are upset.

—Grant in fantasy what you can’t grant in reality. Instead of squashing your children’s holiday dreams or their gift list, let them know you hear them and understand. Phrases such as, “Wow, that would be fun!” or “I wish we could do that too!” can give them the next best thing to what they want, and that is knowing you understand what they want.

—Don’t use unrealistic threats such as “Christmas will be cancelled if” or “You won’t get toys if.” Strive to be positive, but still follow through with rules and unacceptable behavior.

—Take care of yourself or your holiday may turn into a nightmare. When parents are stressed out, it often spills over, and children feel it. Take time for yourself. Exercise, get adequate sleep, take some deep breaths, and try to see the bigger picture. Make positive memories and enjoy the moments, because they don’t last long.