CARTOON: “Panama Papers”

From Clay Jones on his political cartoon “Panama Papers,” a doomsday clock, and the mystery surrounding David Lee Roth’s hair

My joke of the day, shared on social media, was that despite the revelations of the Panama Papers, we still don’t know the whereabouts of David Lee Roth’s hair. Get it? Because Van Halen did the song “Panama,” and Roth used to have huge hair and he’s practically bald now? I didn’t say it was a good joke.

The Panama Papers is a leak of 11.5 million files from the database of the world’s fourth biggest offshore law firm, Mossack Fonseca. They were leaked anonymously to a German newspaper. It’s larger than the Wikileaks files.

Basically, the papers show how the super-rich avoid taxes by hiding money in offshore tax havens. Twelve national leaders are among the 143 politicians using these havens. The prime minister of Iceland has resigned. Vladimir Putin is implicated (though the Russian people aren’t aware of it yet). Other leaders with connections are from Pakistan, Iraq, Egypt, Ukraine, and the father of British prime minister David Cameron ran a fund that avoided paying taxes.

You might be wondering why there aren’t any Americans implicated. That’s because that information may not be obtained yet, or that Americans used different banks, or the fact that some states in the U.S. can be used as tax havens, such as Nevada, Delaware, and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Delaware has to be useful for something other than Interstate rest stops, inconvenient tolls, and George Thorogood.

So what’s up with the D.C. madam? She’s dead. But her lawyer wants to release the rest of her client list. His latest request was refused to be heard by the Supreme Court. He claims it has implications on the presidential election, but politics shouldn’t be a convincing argument in court. Will there be an implication on the election? I don’t know. We’re all kinda expecting Ted Cruz to be on there like a big giant booger, but this lawyer could just be wanting attention and over-hyping this. For all we know, the name could be a third cousin once removed of John Kasich. The lawyer is threatening to violate court orders and release the information anyway. He’s set up a website with a doomsday clock, that if the site isn’t signed in by him for 72 hours (you know, in case a presidential candidate has him whacked and he’s sleeping with the fishes), it will publish the list.

I have high hopes but low expectations, kinda like my career and dating life.

claytoonz.com/2016/04/06/panama-papers