By Adele Pincock
For the better part of June, we have been presented with ample opportunities to read the headlines, news accounts, opinions, and editorials (not to mention social media posts) about the Stanford rape case. As upsetting as the story is, I have taken the time to read many of these news accounts and opinions. I’ve read about the admirable actions of two passersby who bravely intervened to stop the assault, detained the assailant, and waited for law enforcement to arrive. I’ve read the powerful impact statement that was read aloud to the judge by the victim (survivor!) herself. I’ve read both sympathetic and critical opinions about the man who was convicted of three felony counts of sexual assault against her. And I’ve read about the petition asking for the recall of Judge Aaron Persky who, against the recommendations of the prosecuting team, sentenced this felon to a measly six months in a county jail.
Practically everyone I have talked with about this case has expressed a visceral reaction to it, and many are left feeling deep sadness — sadness for the victim, sadness about a culture that tolerates violence against women, sadness that even after a jury convicts someone of three felony counts of sexual assault a judge would convey more sympathy for the perpetrator than the victim.
But even as all of these accounts and reactions are flooding the Internet, I can’t help but think of another rape survivor, Amelia Dennie. Never heard of her? She’s a 20-year-old Utah woman who was raped on a first date in 2014. Her case was concluded in May, and despite the facts that (a) she reported her assault the night it happened; (b) medical evidence corroborated her report of the incident; and (c) she had a recorded conversation in which her assailant acknowledged that she said “no” multiple times, even admitting “no is no, so that’s 100 percent on me,” a Provo jury acquitted him of all charges. Where is the outrage and show of support for Amelia? Her rapist admitted it, and a jury still acquitted him — with reference to her attire on the night she was assaulted. It’s just as maddening as “Emily Doe,” the Stanford victim, being blamed for her assault because she was drinking alcohol on the night she was attacked.
Friends, this is the epitome of rape culture — blaming the actions of a victim, or anything other than the actions of the perpetrator, for rape. Rape culture is pervasive. You may not even recognize it or believe we live in a culture that not only tolerates rape but perpetuates it through victim-blaming and not adequately holding perpetrators accountable for the violent crimes they have committed. You would be hard-pressed to find any other instance of crime in which a victim is scrutinized and blamed for the crime against her because of her intoxication, incapacitation, or attire at the time of the crime.
This is rape culture. It is real. And it is reinforced every time a victim is called out for her actions while her perpetrator is not held accountable for his or any time a college student reports being raped but is then suspended for violating a conduct policy. It is perpetuated every single time a rape victim is asked about her drug use or drinking habits or sexual history, or when she is asked what she could have done differently to prevent being raped. It is perpetuated when we mistakenly assume that rape is only committed by strangers in unsafe places. Indeed, rape culture is so pervasive in our society that it oftentimes clouds the judgment of otherwise intelligent people, which is perhaps the case with Judge Persky and the jurors in Amelia Dennie’s case.
As disturbing as the facts and outcomes are in these cases, we believe the resulting public outcry will ultimately help to bring about positive change. We like to think, and are hopeful it is so, that people are growing weary of the status quo of linking responsibility for sexual crimes to the victims of these crimes. There are many survivors and advocacy groups who are working hard to make societal change possible. We are so grateful for these efforts and the dedicated individuals working to create positive change for victims. We are proud to be contributing in our own small way here in this tiny little corner of Utah. And the good news is that you can be a part of bringing about this much-needed change with one simple action: start by believing. If we want victims to feel supported in reporting rape, sexual assault, or domestic violence, in accessing healing services, and in living rich and fulfilling lives after domestic and sexual violence, we must believe them.
DOVE Center’s programs and services focus on bringing hope and healing to every survivor of domestic and sexual violence. This healing journey begins when we tell our clients, “We believe you.” We work with survivors every day to help them understand they are not responsible for the violence inflicted upon them and that they are not alone. We know that someone reading this article, maybe even you, could use some help in navigating your way back from the terror of domestic or sexual violence, and to you we say, “We believe you, too.”
DOVE Center provides confidential services free of charge for survivors and their loved ones in crisis. There is hope for healing when a survivor is believed and validated. We have hope for a cultural change that supports the brave survivors who come forward to courageously tell their stories.
To learn more about DOVE Center, our services, how to help a loved one, or how to volunteer, please visit dovecenter.org. To access 24-hour support or if you are in need of safe shelter, please call our helpline at (435) 628-0458. And to learn more about the momentum building behind the Start by Believing campaign, please visit startbybelieving.org.
Adele Pincock is the outreach and development director at DOVE Center.
