Your Weekly Horoscope Aquaman: Jan. 20–Feb. 18 This week, you will be abducted by extraterrestrials, which won’t be so bad when you find about Alien Jesus.   Seafood: Feb. 18–March 20 You will break your first New Year’s resolution this week, rationalizing to yourself that stuffed animals are incapable of being raped.     Rocky … Continue reading Your Weekly Horoscope