CARTOON LDS Church baptizing children gay parents

From cartoonist Clay Jones about ‘Saved to Death,’ the LDS Church’s stance on baptizing children of gay parents, and pre-1978 black guys

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the Mormons) decided that children of gay parents cannot receive a naming blessing or be baptized until they’re 18. As can be expected, there’s a firestorm over this and a fear of mass resignations from the church. Mass resignations? How many gay Mormons can there be? Dozens? I don’t get it … but hey, there are gay Republicans out there too, so go figure.

Now the church has issued a statement that the policy applies “only to those children whose primary residence is with a couple living in a same-gender marriage or similar relationship.” So if you’re one of those part-time kids who lives with straight mom and new dad and only lives with gay dad and his new friend Stan on weekends, then the church says you’re cool. You’re only slightly icky but not enough to be dehumanized by God.

They also said the policy will not apply retroactively to children in a same-sex household who have already been baptized. Now I’m not very religious (OK, I’m not religious at all), but I was raised going to churches (yes, plural), and I don’t know how they can go about unbaptizing someone. How do you undunk someone’s head in the water?

After a child who’s been refused a blessing and baptism has reached the age of 18, he or she can receive a baptism. That is, if he or she disavows same-sex cohabitation (guys doing it to other guys … or girls and girls). Of course, they’ll have to receive approval from the church’s governing First Presidency, who will make sure that none of the gay stuck to the child. Maybe they should add some bleach to the baptism water, you know, just to make sure they’re really cleansed.

The LDS’s message is one of “We want you, we want your financial support, but we don’t recognize you as a human being and will use policy to dehumanize you … but God bless you.” Basically, the church values you the same as a pre-1978 black guy.

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2 COMMENTS

  1. Wow, your comments show that you really don’t understand the LDS church’s new policy, or even really want to. I realize that you are trying to get a piece of the sensational headline swirling around, but it would be nice if you would show a little respect for those who believe different than you from you. Your words and your drawing are shameful and show a lack of professionalism as well as good taste.

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