‘Guess Fred C. Adams’ Middle Name’ annual competition begins Feb. 1

Preparations are underway for Cedar City’s annual “Guess Fred C. Adams’ Middle Name” competition starting on Feb. 1. With the founder of the Cedar City Utah Shakespeare Festival regularly making headlines, the one question that remains from all those press releases giving Adams’ full name is exactly what that “C” stands for.

“It’s not ‘Janet,’” suggested Adams.

Every year, people gather to see who can guess the Utah Shakespeare Festival founder’s middle name. Hundreds of thousands of attempts have been made over the years, but as of yet no one has been able to correctly guess what the “C” stands for. Local resident Perry Branson said he has tapped all of his resources and is still drawing a blank.

“If Wikipedia doesn’t have it, I don’t know where else to look,” Branson said. “I found out what the ‘C’ in ‘C. Thomas Howell’ stands for, but when it comes to Fred C. Adams, nada.”

Branson added as a side note that he was also unable to locate any information about the “R” in the name of Utah Shakespeare Festival Executive Director R. Scott Phillips.

Every year, the essence of the contest remains the same: guessing Adam’s middle name. However, the theme changes annually. Last year, contestants attempted to guess Fred C. Adams’ middle name while gargling borscht. The theme of the 2016 event will be “Hopping Up And Down On One Leg While Holding A Chicken,” sponsored by Southwest Behavioral Health.

“It’s definitely not ‘Foghorn,’” insisted Adams.

The grand prize for 2016’s competition is a speaking part in the USF’s upcoming stage adaptation of Guillaume Lecasble’s “Lobster.”

“It ain’t ‘Angelina,’” recommended Adams.

Holly Bingles, 19, a home economics major at Southern Utah University and winner of the 2015 event, did not successfully guess Adam’s middle name, as usual. However, her guess, “Haploid,” was the closest of all the entries, and she was declared the winner of the grand prize of 1,500 sponge cakes and a replica of William Shakespeare’s beard.

“My middle name’s not ‘Haploid,’ but that was pretty durn close!” noted Adams.

The competition’s whimsical spirit has inspired similar local contests, such as the beloved “Feed St. George Mayor Jon Pike A Burrito While He’s Jogging” contest, the “Guess How Many Children Warren Jeffs Has” contest, and the highly-anticipated “Who Can Throw A Mannequin Dressed As The Penguin Character From ‘Batman’ The Furthest Off The Top Of St. George Tabernacle” fundraiser event to benefit the Utah Coalition For Throwing Mannequins Off Of Very Tall Things.

“I wish my middle name were either ‘Burrito’ or ‘Penguin,’ but it’s not,” sighed Adams.

At press time, China’s Tianhe-2 supercomputer had calculated that Adam’s middle name is most likely “Cindy,” although Adams denied it.