Written by Adam Mast
TED 2 (R)
In “Ted 2,” everyone’s favorite foul-mouthed, pot-smoking teddy bear (voiced by the film’s writer and director, Seth MacFarlane) is back.
As this sequel to the 2012 hit opens, Ted his marries girlfriend, Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth). But after only a year of marriage, mounting financial troubles and trivial arguments begin to take their toll. Upon receiving a little advice from a fellow coworker at the supermarket where the couple works, Ted suggests to Tami-Lynn that they have a baby as a means to strengthen their relationship. Of course, she’s absolutely ecstatic by the proposition, but there’s one little problem: Ted is unable to have children.
Enter John (Mark Wahlberg), Ted’s thunder buddy for life. John is still reeling from an unexpected divorce, and helping his lifelong friend is sure to keep his spirits up. Together, this dynamic duo sets out on a journey to find the perfect sperm donor, which brings them up-close and personal with their friend, Sam Jones (Flash Gordon), and pro football player Tom Brady.
While continuing their epic search for the perfect sperm, things don’t quite go as planned, but ultimately, a sperm donor becomes the least of Ted’s worries after the government intervenes and deems that he is not recognized as an actual person. This sets yet another crazy subplot into motion whereby Ted must hire lawyer Samantha (Amanda Seyfried) in an effort to take the government to court and prove that he is a functioning member of society and not just a piece of property.
I’ll give MacFarlane this: He certainly doesn’t rehash the first movie. “Ted 2” actually has a plot. Maybe a little too much plot. In fact, this movie is considerably more plot-driven than the first picture, and while it manages to avoid the repetition of its predecessor, it does suffer from the over-bloat and self-indulgence that plagued MacFarlane’s last movie—the disappointing western comedy, “A Million Ways to Die in the West.” Thankfully, though, “Ted 2” is also a heck of a lot funnier than that movie was.
What’s more, MacFarlane attempts to add social commentary and drama to the proceedings and (dare I say it?) it actually kind of works. I mean, don’t get me wrong. It’s hard to take the anti-drug message seriously when Ted and John spend a large portion of the film smoking weed, but the courtroom stuff and Ted’s fight for his rights sort of ring true, albeit in a movie fantasy sort of way. “Ted 2” even offers up a whimsical “’Mr. Smith Goes to Washington’ meets ‘Miracle on 34th Street’” vibe.
In the end, though, “Ted 2” is a comedy. As expected, MacFarlane works tirelessly to set up jokes and their punchlines. Some of the gags work, and some don’t, but so many jokes are thrown at the viewer at such a furious pace that, even when one doesn’t stick, it’s safe to say that a solid, hearty laugh is right around the corner.
A lot of the gags are inspired by MacFarlane’s love for movies of the past. Visual and music cues inspired by the likes of “The Breakfast Club” and “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles” don’t fare as well, but a timely ode to “Jurassic Park” is an absolute riot. The opening musical number, inspired by “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom,” is pretty good too. Beyond that, Liam Neeson pops up in a cameo that insures that I’ll never eat Trix cereal again, and watch for an inspired New York City Comic-Con cosplay bit involving Michael Dorn and Patrick Warburton. Hilarious!
For those living under a rock, it should also be noted that “Ted 2” is rated R, so expect a lot of raunchy bathroom humor, a plethora of colorful metaphors, and body fluid gags galore (in particular, beware of a righteously hilarious but gag-worthy sperm bank sequence). Despite the inevitable raunch factor and irreverent spirit, there’s still something really sweet and charming about “Ted 2.”
A lot of that charm comes from the natural rapport between Wahlberg and MacFarlane. Their chemistry is key. At its heart, “Ted 2” is a story about friendship and family, and that completely comes across through Wahlberg and MacFarlane’s performances. It should come as absolutely no surprise that both actors are extremely adept comedians, too.
Seyfried brings a lot to the table as well. I certainly had a hard time with the fashion in which MacFarlane wrote Mila Kunis’ Lori Collins out of this picture (it reminded me a bit of the ridiculous way Holly Gennaro was written out of “Die Hard: With a Vengeance”), but the truth is, Samantha is a much better match for John, and saucer-eyed Seyfried brings gobs of sweetness to this character. Look no further than her adorable musical number midway through the movie that’s so infectiously likable, it attracts the likes of numerous woodland creatures and even a few random not-so woodland creatures. Seyfried also proves to be quite a good sport as she is the butt of the joke on several occasions throughout the picture.
Had “Ted 2” been 30 minutes shorter, it might have had the potential to be a truly great comedy sequel, and as most readers are well aware, the great comedy sequel is a very rare breed. As it stands, though, “Ted 2” is still pretty damned funny. It doesn’t hit every second, but it offers up enough solid laughs and provides enough cast chemistry to warrant a recommendation.
