Stay at Home Easter…

Stay at Home Easter
Stay at Home Easter by Bill Day, Tallahassee, FL

What Will Easter 2021 Be Like?

Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

“Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.” – C.S. Lewis

“Better safe than sorry” is an overriding theme for individuals, businesses and governments struggling with the current worldwide health crisis.

“Better safe than sorry” propels the hoarding of consumer products, the cancellation of major sporting/entertainment events and the frenzied push to provide ample medical resources for a worst-case scenario.

 

As we enter the Easter season, I wonder if we can somehow squeeze “a right relationship with God” onto our priority list – now and moving forward in the New Normal. Can we adopt a “better safe than sorry” approach to Christianity?

Many “practicing” Christians darken the church doors twice a year, daydream during the sermon, skimp on the contribution, delegate all the good deeds to the preacher (“That’s what we pay him for!”), water down doctrine to legitimize their own shortcomings and never share the Gospel. Considering that “strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life,” what are the odds that the slothfulness I’ve just described will leave you “safe” rather than “sorry”?

Meanwhile, people who have drifted away or never quite embraced Christianity in the first place are out there merrily slapping together an eclectic collection of mix-and-match concepts and catch-phrases to forge their own nebulous “spirituality.”

Would you feel safe around an electrician or surgeon who tossed away his education and just did whatever “resonated” with him?

Then, of course, there are the people who are MILITANTLY opposed to Christianity. Maybe, just maybe, there is no Creator, no afterlife, no Judgment Day. But is it worth the risk just for the MOMENTARY PLEASURE of mocking prayer groups, driving people of faith out of the public arena or producing pornographic portrayals of the son of God? Pride may tell you that some jerk sneezing on your lettuce is infinitely worse than hellfire, but pride also has an unenviable track record of going before destruction.

Why haven’t we practiced our new-found pandemic skills in matters of eternity? We rush to the radio, TV or internet for a glimmer of good news about the health crisis, but we let our Bibles accumulate dust. When we’re intimidated by the language or symbolism of the Good Book, we flee rather than availing ourselves of Bible dictionaries and other aids.

Most of us have learned to practice “social distancing”; but unless we’re in a “Twelve Steps” program, we never think of shunning evil companions, enablers or immoral venues.

Despite our grumbling, we have adapted to 2020 ways of working, eating, getting an education and “attending” weddings and funerals. But let someone cramp our style with one little religious “thou shalt not” and a meltdown ensues.

The media and the authorities dutifully warn about virus scams, but it’s awkward nowadays to warn about the Prince of Lies. “If it feels good, do it” remains embedded in our self-destructive psyches.

We’re learning to identify “essential businesses,” but we seldom weigh the value of something as essential as our SOUL.

Yes, viruses and their economic impact call for bold, decisive action; but as the Empty Tomb captures at least the periphery of our attention, I hope we can learn from the business advice of Stephen Covey.

“The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.”

Copyright 2020 Danny Tyree. Danny welcomes email responses at tyreetyrades@aol.com and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.” Danny’s weekly column is distributed exclusively by Cagle Cartoons Inc. newspaper syndicate.


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Danny Tyree
Controversial author Harlan Ellison once described the work of Danny Tyree as "wonkily extrapolative" and said Tyree's mind "works like a demented cuckoo clock." Ellison was speaking primarily of Tyree’s 1983-2000 stint on the "Dan T’s Inferno" column for “Comics Buyer’s Guide” hobby magazine, but the description would also fit his weekly "Tyree’s Tyrades" column for mainstream newspapers. Inspired by Dave Barry, Al "Li'l Abner" Capp, Lewis Grizzard, David Letterman, and "Saturday Night Live," "Tyree's Tyrades" has been taking a humorous look at politics and popular culture since 1998. Tyree has written on topics as varied as Rent-A-Friend.com, the Lincoln bicentennial, "Woodstock At 40," worm ranching, the Vatican conference on extraterrestrials, violent video games, synthetic meat, the decline of soap operas, robotic soldiers, the nation's first marijuana café, Sen. Joe Wilson’s "You lie!" outburst at President Obama, Internet addiction, "Is marriage obsolete?," electronic cigarettes, 8-minute sermons, early puberty, the Civil War sesquicentennial, Arizona's immigration law, the 50th anniversary of the Andy Griffith Show, armed teachers, "Are women smarter than men?," Archie Andrews' proposal to Veronica, 2012 and the Mayan calendar, ACLU school lawsuits, cutbacks at ABC News, and the 30th anniversary of the death of John Lennon. Tyree generated a particular buzz on the Internet with his column spoofing real-life Christian nudist camps. Most of the editors carrying "Tyree’s Tyrades" keep it firmly in place on the opinion page, but the column is very versatile. It can also anchor the lifestyles section or float throughout the paper. Nancy Brewer, assistant editor of the "Lawrence County (TN) Advocate" says she "really appreciates" what Tyree contributes to the paper. Tyree has appeared in Tennesee newspapers continuously since 1998. Tyree is a lifelong small-town southerner. He graduated from Middle Tennessee State University in 1982 with a bachelor's degree in Mass Communications. In addition to writing the weekly "Tyree’s Tyrades," he writes freelance articles for MegaBucks Marketing of Elkhart, Indiana. Tyree wears many hats (but still falls back on that lame comb-over). He is a warehousing and communications specialist for his hometown farmers cooperative, a church deacon, a comic book collector, a husband (wife Melissa is a college biology teacher), and a late-in-life father. (Six-year-old son Gideon frequently pops up in the columns.)

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