Cannabis is a gateway to harder drugs
According to the government, recreationally used cannabis can act as a gateway to harder drugs. I myself took up chess and became addicted to it.

Cannabis is a gateway to harder drugs

According to the government health department, recreationally used cannabis can act as a gateway to harder drugs like heroin, ecstasy and crack cocaine. Unwittingly, the cannabis user becomes addicted to cannabis and soon abandons the class B drug for more dangerous substances — a contingency that proves to be an insidious pursuit.

The government study also reveals that the “gateway principle” is prevalent within the seemingly innocuous pastime of playing chess. I myself took up chess and became addicted to it.

Soon after, I felt the compulsion to kidnap a man, take him on to a train, hang him out of the train window by his underwear, and cover him in mayonnaise until my ransom demands were satisfactorily met.

As the train sped along, the kidnapped man in mayonnaise yelled at me through the train window, “It’s chess that’s driven you to this isn’t it? The government says that chess can lead to a perilous undertaking!”

I yelled back to him, “I’m so sorry, I thought playing chess was an innocent hobby!”

A man sitting on the train said, “I can sympathize with you there, a similar thing happened to me. I took up flower-arranging and it developed into a habit. Soon after, I felt the urge to nail my testicles to a violin while the violinist played in an orchestra at a classical music concert. The violinist yelled at me, ‘It’s flower-arranging that’s driven you to this isn’t it? The government says that flower-arranging can lead to a more hazardous venture!.’ I yelled back to the violinist, ‘I’m so sorry, I thought flower-arranging was a harmless leisure activity!’”

Another man sitting on the train said, “I can identify with that, a similar thing happened to me. I took up trainspotting and I became hooked on it. Soon after, I felt the necessity to go to a sporting event and rip all the pubic hair from out of the groins of the sports fans inside the arena. As I removed all the hair, the crowd yelled at me, “It’s trainspotting that’s driven you to this isn’t it? The government says that trainspotting can lead to a more risky interest!’ I yelled back at the crowd, ‘I’m so sorry, I thought trainspotting was a benign recreation!’”

Another man sitting on the train said, “I can empathize with you there, a similar thing happened to me. I took up playing the electric guitar and I became dependent on it.”

“The electric guitar?” I asked. “And what did that lead to?”

“An amplifier,” he said.

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