Things used to be built to last. By the end of 2018, legislatures in 18 states were considering laws granting the right to repair your electronics.
Things used to be built to last. By the end of 2018, legislatures in 18 states were considering laws granting the right to repair your electronics.

Do you deserve the right to repair your electronics?

Remember the good ol’ days of shade-tree mechanics, denim patches, and Emmett’s Fix-It Shop on “Mayberry R.F.D.”?

The growing complexity and fragility of high-tech consumer products like smartphones, tablets, video game consoles, microwave ovens, tractors, etc. has threatened such a thrifty lifestyle. But some activists claim that even more damage has been done by the high-pressure tactics of the “either ship it to us for repair or just toss it in the landfill and buy a new one” manufacturers of those items.

These companies are not above issuing cease-and-desist orders when an intrepid tinkerer reverse-engineers a product and posts repair tips online or even remotely shutting down a product that contains unauthorized replacement parts.

It’s a wonder that even more companies haven’t jumped aboard the greed train. I could just see the Ketchup Police kicking the front door open and catching penny-pinching miscreants with a nearly empty ketchup bottle turned upside down. “Yeah, I’m a Ketchup Policeman. My parents met when mom was rounding up hooligans who put aluminum foil on their rabbit-ear antennas and dad was cuffing scofflaws who used pliers to change channels.”

Six years ago, a group of concerned consumers, recyclers, refurbishers, environmentalists, digital-rights advocates, and repair specialists joined forces to found Repair.org, a group working to ensure that when something breaks, consumers can readily find the information and parts they need to repair it, or else have it fixed by a repairman of their choice.

Things used to be built to last. After Granny Tyree’s wringer washer gave up the ghost, the tub served for years as a livestock feed storage container. Now it seems we’re trapped in a community theater production of “Annie Get Your Gun.” “Anything you can build, I can build crappier. I can build anything crappier than you.”

It gets really embarrassing when a reporter doing a story about a local citizen’s restored ’57 Chevy has to haul out his 14th digital camera to document the accomplishment.

I understand how corporations can get all clingy about their “proprietary information.” I mean, I do affix a copyright notice to these columns. But I am resigned to the fact that editors can completely change my headlines, force my freewheeling punctuation to adhere more to the “Associated Press Style Book,” and truncate my contact information. Readers are entitled to take my words out of context, cross out paragraphs they disagree with, or line the birdcage with my prose.

And my 401(k) account probably has stock in such companies, but even a capitalist can implore fat cats to rein it in a little. Give enough ammo to the socialists and Uncle Sam will nationalize Hewlett-Packard, guaranteeing unlimited ink cartridges for printers that don’t want to work.

I know manufacturers fear lawsuits if amateurs fiddle with repairs and make matters worse, but probably the computer with the judge’s ruling would crash and lose it, anyway. Never send a five-year-old to do a six-year-old’s assembly job!

By the end of 2018, legislatures in 18 states were considering “right to repair” laws. But an even bigger impact could come from divine intervention.

Imagine if God visited a few ailing executives and held them to their own standards. “Knee replacement? I don’t recall authorizing a knee replacement. And were you born with stents? How about I unleash a plague of genuine, brand-name locusts on your market valuation?”

The viewpoints expressed above are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of The Independent.

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Danny Tyree
Controversial author Harlan Ellison once described the work of Danny Tyree as "wonkily extrapolative" and said Tyree's mind "works like a demented cuckoo clock." Ellison was speaking primarily of Tyree’s 1983-2000 stint on the "Dan T’s Inferno" column for “Comics Buyer’s Guide” hobby magazine, but the description would also fit his weekly "Tyree’s Tyrades" column for mainstream newspapers. Inspired by Dave Barry, Al "Li'l Abner" Capp, Lewis Grizzard, David Letterman, and "Saturday Night Live," "Tyree's Tyrades" has been taking a humorous look at politics and popular culture since 1998. Tyree has written on topics as varied as Rent-A-Friend.com, the Lincoln bicentennial, "Woodstock At 40," worm ranching, the Vatican conference on extraterrestrials, violent video games, synthetic meat, the decline of soap operas, robotic soldiers, the nation's first marijuana café, Sen. Joe Wilson’s "You lie!" outburst at President Obama, Internet addiction, "Is marriage obsolete?," electronic cigarettes, 8-minute sermons, early puberty, the Civil War sesquicentennial, Arizona's immigration law, the 50th anniversary of the Andy Griffith Show, armed teachers, "Are women smarter than men?," Archie Andrews' proposal to Veronica, 2012 and the Mayan calendar, ACLU school lawsuits, cutbacks at ABC News, and the 30th anniversary of the death of John Lennon. Tyree generated a particular buzz on the Internet with his column spoofing real-life Christian nudist camps. Most of the editors carrying "Tyree’s Tyrades" keep it firmly in place on the opinion page, but the column is very versatile. It can also anchor the lifestyles section or float throughout the paper. Nancy Brewer, assistant editor of the "Lawrence County (TN) Advocate" says she "really appreciates" what Tyree contributes to the paper. Tyree has appeared in Tennesee newspapers continuously since 1998. Tyree is a lifelong small-town southerner. He graduated from Middle Tennessee State University in 1982 with a bachelor's degree in Mass Communications. In addition to writing the weekly "Tyree’s Tyrades," he writes freelance articles for MegaBucks Marketing of Elkhart, Indiana. Tyree wears many hats (but still falls back on that lame comb-over). He is a warehousing and communications specialist for his hometown farmers cooperative, a church deacon, a comic book collector, a husband (wife Melissa is a college biology teacher), and a late-in-life father. (Six-year-old son Gideon frequently pops up in the columns.)

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