Movie Review: “Rambo: Last Blood” worst of franchise

Movie Review: “Rambo: Last Blood” (R)

It’s been 37 years since tough-as-nails Green Beret John Rambo took on Sheriff Teasel (Brian Dennehy) in the original “First Blood.” In the years since, he’s done battle with a sadistic Vietnamese captain and his Russian comrade on his way to rescuing POWs, teamed with Afghan freedom fighters in an effort to take on villainous Soviet Forces and save his only true friend (played by the great Richard Crenna), and traveled into the heart of Burma where he would attempt to put a stop to genocide. Where does a warrior like this end up? Taking on a deadly Mexican drug cartel and putting a stop to a sex trafficking operation, of course.

As “Rambo: Last Blood” opens, Rambo has made a home for himself out of the Arizona ranch from his youth. In the 11 years since his blood-soaked ordeal in Burma, this veteran soldier has found solace in the company of a lovely surrogate family. The violence he’s seen for over three decades is still very much a part of him, but he’s learned to “put a lid on it.” When Gabrielle (Yvette Moneral) — a teenager Rambo treats as if she were his very own daughter — is kidnapped and thrown into a sex trafficking ring while searching for her biological father in a seedier part of Mexico, Rambo decides it’s time to open the proverbial lid once more. During his mission, he meets Mexican journalist Carmen Delgado (played by a wonderfully warm but sorely underused Paz Vega), a woman he eventually discovers he has quite a bit in common with. After waging war with the sadistic Martinez brothers (menacing Oscar Jaenada and Sergio Peri-Mencheta) on their own soil, “Last Blood” eventually finds Rambo taking on a brutal drug cartel on his own turf … “Home Alone” style!

In case you haven’t heard, “Rambo: Last Blood” has been met with quite a bit of unwarranted controversy. A lot of folks are dismissing it as a half baked, obscenely violent, and inflammatory look at immigration policies and Mexico in general.

Well, “Last Blood” is half baked and obscenely violent alright, but it’s hardly a rip on Mexico. Rambo isn’t taking on a vile country by any stretch of the imagination here. He’s taking on an evil drug cartel. Translation: This is a revenge-fueled action piece and features Rambo doing what he often does best in these movies: taking out the trash! In short, it’s sort of like an extra-violent version of “Taken.”

All the folks out there trying to turn this movie into something it’s not should channel their energy into knocking this flick for the real reason it should be knocked on: It isn’t particularly well made! The writing and direction here border (see what I did there?) on downright awful. And when “Last Blood” isn’t producing laughable dialogue, underdeveloped characters, wooden acting, and routine action sequences, it plays more like a Cliff’s Notes version of “Rambo: Last Blood.” How could it not at a minuscule 89-minute running time? This is to say nothing of the fact that most of “Last Blood” feels like a low-end straight-to-DVD release. Not that the “Rambo” franchise has ever really aspired to high art — with the possible exception of the original film, which at least tried to fuse an actioneer spirit with a more sensitive look at the effects of PTSD.

As generic and poorly made as “Rambo: Last Blood” is, though, it isn’t without it’s entertainment value. Particularly if you’re a fan of gore. This is one of the bloodiest studio pictures to hit the big screen in quite sometime, and there are plenty of moments here when the carnage on display feels like the kind of thing you’d see in an ’80s slasher movie. So if you’re simply coming to “Last Blood” for the gore and violence, you’re probably going to go home happy.

Beyond that, when Stallone is let off his leash in this picture, he takes absolutely no prisoners! He’s fiery, intense, grizzled, and alpha in all the right ways — most notably in the aforementioned final act. The last thing anyone would ever want to do is metaphorically rip the heart out of a guy like John Rambo, because men like this are likely to retaliate in a more literal sense.

Overall, “Rambo: Last Blood” isn’t a very good movie, but not for the same reasons some folks are proclaiming. It’s far and away the worst of franchise to be sure, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy parts of it. Still, if this truly is the last “Rambo” outing for a now 73-year-old Sly Stallone, it’s a bummer of a note to end on, because a bigger-than-life cinematic action hero like John Rambo deserves a bigger-than-life sendoff.

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