Written by Marianne Mansfield
It was surprising when the LDS church teamed up with Equality Utah and politicians in both chambers of the Utah legislature to pass The Anti-Discrimination and Religious Freedom Act in March of 2015. Shocking, possibly, and had some of us scratching our heads. Could this really be what it appeared to be: a long-overdue softening of the LDS position on gay marriage?
Well, now we know. Of course it wasn’t. If there was any doubt, the tenor of several of the talks at last weekend’s General Conference should set us straight. So to speak.
To begin with there was Elder L. Tom Perry, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, who drew a clear line of demarcation between ‘traditional families’ and those “counterfeit and alternative lifestyles that try to replace the family organization that God Himself established.”
Elder D. Todd Christofferson, another member of the quorum, added more on the topic, saying, “A family built on the marriage of a man and woman supplies the best setting for God’s plan to thrive — the setting for the birth of children who come in purity and innocence from God.”
But really, should support of the Anti-Discrimination and Religious Freedom Act equate to support of gay marriage and gay families? The obvious answer is no, not for the LDS church. And since the Act is also a statement about Religious Freedom, it doesn’t need to be.
However, the re-affirmation of the LDS church’s stance on gay marriage, and it’s even more disturbing warning about gay families, is a disappointment to those who saw the Act as the marker of a significant moment in the history of Utah. While 37,000 members of the LGBT community of Utah are now protected in housing and employment, the church made clear that, in its way of thinking, they are still not citizens in good standing.
Troy Williams, the Executive Director of Equality Utah, explained it this way. “You can change laws, but laws don’t change minds. We need to reach out to (Mormons) to introduce our families to them. We need to demonstrate that we have more in common with them than they might believe. We believe in strong family ties. We believe in safe schools. We believe in giving back to our communities.”
In so saying, Williams suggests the next step in the long road of compromise.
As he pointed out, the LGBT community certainly isn’t going anywhere. They will continue to be part of the tapestry that represents all the people of our state. And Utah isn’t Arkansas, nor is it Indiana. Our leaders, both political and religious, chose differently. They chose to engage in an historic collaboration which resulted in a commitment to safety and freedom for all Utah citizens. There are words which were spoken that cannot be unsaid; pledges given that cannot be unmade. Now is not the time for either camp to rest. Or worse yet, retreat. Now is the time for each to push forward.
It begins with discovering that there exists a community of shared values on which most can agree, despite the rhetoric espoused at the General Conference. And let me suggest that the most common of shared values is that which is at the heart of all families. The children. No child deserves to have her/his family attacked, undermined or disenfranchised because of whom the parents love. Because the parents love the children, and they love their parents. Re-read Elder Christofferson’s words: “Children who come in purity and innocence…”
At the General Conference there were many references to the sanctity of the family, and the significance of children. I suspect no gay couple would disagree with those sentiments.
Gay families are families first. And in that essence, they share the most profound of family values with all other families. Their faith is a faith in the potential of the next generation.
This is where the common ground begins.
Troy Williams said to me, “They (the LDS Church) don’t want to live in a world without us. And we, the LGBT community, don’t want to live without them.”
And with that recognition in mind, the next steps should be made onto that common ground.
Good luck to all.
