OPINION: To dine, or not to dine… with your kids

Written by Paul Dail

On a recent trip to Salt Lake City, I was surprised when I went to a Red Robin restaurant and saw a sign by their “lounge” area that read: “No one under 21 allowed.”

I know Utah has some crazy laws when it comes to liquor licenses, Zion Curtains, and who can be where and when, but something about this seemed off. I had also been in Applebee’s recently (I know. Red Robin? Applebee’s? I’m a regular dining connoisseur), and while children weren’t allowed to sit at the actual bar, they were at least allowed in the general area.

What I discovered was that the restaurant is instigating a movement they are calling “Take Back the Bar.” The idea? Basically, kids are annoying. Patrons in the lounge want to go there after work or on the weekends and be able to relax without screaming kids. Or maybe they want to cheer for their favorite sports team, get a little belligerent, and not have to worry about their language.

Speaking of the laws in Utah, this move by Red Robin isn’t technically “legal,” and if anyone really pushed it, they would have to seat a family in that section. Still, I thought it would make an interesting topic for an article, so my first call was to the Red Robin down here in Washington. After all, surely they could only pull this off in a larger metropolitan area, right? Wrong.

Manager Kassidy Keller informed me that this is a nationwide movement by Red Robin in an attempt to keep that part of the restaurant as more of a quiet area for adults.

“If [our customers] want to enjoy a burger or drink, they won’t have kids climbing around in the booth right next to them,” Keller said.

Ah, yes. We’ve all been there. I’m a fan of kids myself, but there are only so many smiles, waves, and funny faces you can make at the kid who is staring at you over the back of their seat while you’re trying to eat before you lose your patience and wish the parent would tell their child to sit down.

Keller went on to tell me that many of the restaurant’s guests like it better and even specifically request the area.

“Especially down here, with a lot of customers who are retired,” she said.

After talking with a cousin of mine in Germany, I realized this phenomenon isn’t isolated to our country. Apparently Germany is experiencing a baby boom, and many higher-end establishments in Berlin aren’t sure how — or if — they want to deal with it.

Some restaurants have tried to provide play corners, but according to my cousin, “many of the childless patrons complain loudly and bitterly that their peace and quiet is being disturbed by hollering kiddies.” One vegetarian restaurant in a more upscale Berlin neighborhood even restricts children under a certain age entirely.

Back home in Southern Utah, a server at a fine dining restaurant in Cedar City, who asked to remain anonymous, agreed with this idea.

“It’s frustrating, especially if other customers are celebrating a special occasion, to have a 2-year-old yelling and making a mess,” she said. “Some people know well enough to take [their children] out if they’re being disruptive, but some people just let them scream. As a server, I feel like I have to apologize to customers for the behavior of someone else’s kids.”

This server did go on to say, however, that she didn’t have any children of her own, and that perhaps made her a little less sympathetic.

This addresses an interesting point. As a parent of two younger children (ages 2 and 4), I can certainly understand this dilemma. My wife and I are often painfully aware of our children’s behavior when in public, to such an extent that not only do we recognize that it might ruin other’s enjoyment of their evening out, but it also isn’t very relaxing for us, either.

Much like not taking our children to social gatherings at friends’ homes, we tend to just avoid eating out entirely. Or try to find a sitter.

However, this isn’t always a possibility, especially if people are on vacation. Kimberly Francis, one of the managers of the Painted Pony in St. George, told me she could see good points and bad points to the issue. While she recognizes that most of their patrons come in to either get away from their kids for a night or just from kids in general, she also acknowledges how much of their business comes from tourism.

“Even though we’re fine dining, we cater to all types,” Francis said. “If we had a policy like [Red Robin’s], we would be losing out on guests.”

On the other hand, when it comes to the locals, some parents feel — especially in such a family-oriented state as Utah — that it is their right to take their children out, and if someone else is a little disturbed by the noise their kids are making, tough. While some parents, like my wife and I, are legitimately conscientious, that doesn’t necessarily mean our kids are too concerned about it.  

This fact is recognized by the Painted Pony. Whenever possible, they seat families in a little area of the restaurant known as “the alcove,” which is set apart from the main dining area. Funny enough, “the alcove” is probably what would be considered by most to be “the bar area,” as that’s where the bar counter is located.

“We are very careful in our consideration of the placement of each table,” Francis said. “’The alcove’ provides peace for the moms and dads who are embarrassed about their loud kids, and the other guests don’t have to be right next to it.”

Francis went on to say that while the setup of the Painted Pony just isn’t designed for a “Take Back the Bar” type of movement, she does believe it’s a great concept for chain restaurants like Red Robin, Chili’s, and Applebee’s that have that kind of space.

“If I go to Chili’s with my husband, we usually request to be seated in that area,” she said. “However, if I have my children with me, I don’t want to be in the bar area.”

There are lots of different sides to this issue, but the fact is that Southern Utah is not Berlin. “Baby boom” is nothing new around these parts; it might as well be the state motto. So, perhaps the solution to this issue is to practice understanding on all sides. Servers need to understand that parents sometimes don’t have a choice about taking their kids to a restaurant. Other diners without children need to understand the same. And parents need to do their best to keep their kids in check or request a table that won’t be disturbing to others.

Sure, you’re paying for your meal just like everyone else, but remember that other people might also be paying for an experience. A quiet, calm experience. And your kids are screwing it up.