Tag: the Independent
The poetry hotel
The poetry hotel
By Stephen Philip Druce
I was booked to do a poetry reading at The New York Poetry Festival and just happened to be...
The weight-loss consultant
The weight-loss consultant
By Stephen Philip Druce
"Hello, is this the weight loss consultant? It's Mr. Roberts here."
"Hello Mr. Roberts. Yes, I'm the consultant. How can...
Going to McDonald’s
Going to McDonald’s
By Stephen Philip Druce
The giant yellow “M” sign at McDonald's has drawn me in.
I'm willing to disregard the prevailing rumor that the...
An ice cream van of dictators
An ice cream van of dictators
By Stephen Philip Druce
I was ordering an ice cream from an ice cream van.
"A butterscotch ice cream, please."
"Sorry, I've...
A kissagram caper
A kissagram caper
By Stephen Philip Druce
A kissagram lady died inside a giant birthday cake she was expected to leap out of at a party...
Campulating
Campulating
By Stephen Philip Druce
Realizing I'd run out of condoms, my girlfriend suggested I use our camping tent for protection instead.
"Campulate with me" she said....
Passing with flying colors
Passing with flying colors
By Stephen Philip Druce
In response to one's application to NASA for the coveted role of astronaut, one is duly required to...
Why not have a baby?
Why not have a baby?
By Stephen Philip Druce
Men who don't want children are incessantly bombarded with the question, “Why don't you want to have...
Heed the butthole robber
Heed the butthole robber
Stephen Philip Druce
Beware the butthole robber — the new criminal on the block. Citizens of London are being robbed in the...
There are too many sex change operations performed on fairground rides...
There are too many sex change operations performed on fairground rides for my liking
By Stephen Philip Druce
Ever had the misfortune to witness a surgeon...