Time Is Not Absolute

Does anybody really know what time it is?

There was a time when we all had time on our hands.

Actually, to be more precise, on our wrists.

Our lives were driven by our watches, which told us when it was time to go to work, how close we were to making or blowing our deadlines, how long it took to perform a certain task.

But as those of us around the world are confined to house arrest right now are beginning to learn, time is not absolute, something Albert Einstein figured out long, long ago.

Einstein’s Theory of Relativity spells it all out, but what it comes down to is that time is relative to space. A clock, for example, runs faster on top of a mountain than down at sea level. It runs faster if held up near your head than if you placed it at your feet.

A minute in deep space is not the same as a minute on Earth. Science has proven this.

It also seems that the more you have to do, the faster time passes. I can attest to that.

I put away my wristwatch almost a decade ago when the stars aligned and allowed me to check out of the daily grind earlier than expected.

I still need some kind of link to time and space. Otherwise, I would miss band practice on Tuesday, horseshoes (weather permitting) on Wednesday, poker on Wednesday night, and my Thursday night gig.

Sadly, there’s no band practice right now, no horseshoes, no poker, no gigs because we’re all closed up.

But, thanks to Roku and my Firestick, I can watch whatever I want to watch whenever I want to watch it, so I don’t even need a TV Guide.

In essence, it really doesn’t matter if it is Monday or Friday because there is no place to go. The best response to “What day is it?” is “Today,” which is good enough for me.

I understand, though, how a lot of people are having problems with all of this right now.

While I took to the idea of not answering alarm clocks or constantly checking my watch to make sure I didn’t miss a deadline or appointment, my wife Cara had a bit of a difficult time with it. Of course, she was one of those people whose life was ruled by her Daytimer. A few years in Mexico, where the Mañana Mentality truly is a way of life, has helped retrieve her from the dark side. Still, even though it is part of the social culture to arrive about a half an hour late to a function here, she still has fits of punctuality that exacerbate her.

Playing loosely with time offers a comfortable informality, of course, that is nice, warm, and easy on the brain.

But now?

Well, it’s different.

If you are practicing social distancing, as any right-thinking human should be, you might have noticed a few things.

First?

This shaving thing is rather hit and miss. I mean really, if you’re just hanging around the house, it doesn’t matter if your beard gets a little shaggy if you go a couple of days without shaving. And, why not? It saves water, saves your razor, saves on the pieces of toilet paper we use to clot those inevitable nicks.

Then there’s the makeup thing. If their significant others are going a little wooly, why should women bother with the lipstick, hair, and makeup thing?

We’ve also learned how dependent we have become on our access to the Internet, whether through our smart-phones, laptops, or tablets. I would be willing to bet that these days, most people go directly to their online games in the morning to beef up their coins or tokens or lives before hitting Facebook to take quizzes to find out what they did in a previous life or jump into the fruitless and aggravating political arguments. I mean seriously, folks, I don’t like your guy, you don’t like mine and there is nothing either one of us could do to change the other’s opinion, so why even bother?

There is also this thing about comfort and informality that will take quite some time to undo and that is our daily wardrobe. Truthfully, since you’ve been on lockdown, what have you been wearing for the most part? My bet is sweats — unless you have some heavy honey-do stuff going on that requires work clothes.

But, it’s to the point now where, quite honestly, it’s OK to go to the grocery store in sweats, a T-shirt, and flip-flops because, well, we’re all wearing facemasks anyway, right? So we put on a baseball cap, a pair of sunglasses, and pull up our masks. Believe me, nobody is making any judgments. In fact, sweats, a T-shirt, and flip-flops have sort of become the uniform of the day. I am not looking forward to the time when we have to wear actual clothes again.

I would imagine we are all reading and listening to music a bit more. It may not be the great works of Steinbeck and Hemingway or the music of the masters like Beethoven and Bach, but a gathering of useless information from the Internet that might help us if we ever appear on “Jeopardy” and deep-cut songs from some long-forgotten Stones album.

After all, we’ve got some time now, you see, something that, in the long run, we will treasure more and more with each passing day.

I understand that it is inconvenient right now, that we are a very mobile society, that we like to go and do, that we don’t like being confined, that we don’t like having restrictions placed on our lives.

But, I also understand that we want to make it through all of this in one piece, if possible, that we cannot be selfish, that even though we might love to catch a movie, go out to dinner, or socialize in our normal manner, now is not the time. To do so is not only asinine but potentially fatal.

Use common sense.

Stay home.

If you must go out, wear your facemask, if not for your protection, for the protection of your family.

Don’t complain. Many others have it much worse.

I truly don’t quite understand the whole business behind Einstein’s theory about the concept of time.

But, I do understand that time is precious and should be spent wisely.

Take this time to get closer to the ones you love. Enjoy their company. Revisit those things that brought you together.

Most of all, be thankful for your time together.

Time may be relative, an arbitrary thing created by humans.

But, it’s all we’ve got.

Make the best of it.