We recently enjoyed a festival in St. George celebrating Halloween: the Spooky Town Fair (I almost pity it at this point). I’ve mentioned that the holiday, at least as it observed today in America and milked for cash like so many golden calves, is kind of pointless. But it’s mostly good clean fun.
Hazardous, socially irresponsible, cancer-causing fun.
In a spasm of brilliance, Washington County Public School Foundation member Pam Graf decided that encouraging kids to eat fast food is “something fun to do.”
Binge eating is fun?
Cancer is fun?
Squandering resources is fun?
Graf went on to say that since McDonald’s was a sponsor for the Washington County School District, she didn’t want anything negative to go out there about it.
It’s time for Graf to resign. A tax-funded organization transparently sponsoring McDonald’s is one matter; placing corporate interests over children’s well-being is another. Since her concern is for the well-being of McDonald’s rather than the well-being of our children, I say that she should go work at McDonald’s instead.
It’s far too late to prevent negative things from going out about McDonald’s, seeing as the most negative thing about McDonald’s has already gone out: their “food.” To see Graf place their interests over those of children is jaw-dropping. McDonald’s is a great sponsor for the One Percent and the National Funeral Directors and Morticians Association—that’s it.
First of all, an eating contest is just an insane concept to begin. We live in the frickin’ desert. Read anything by Gary Nabhan if you need a wake-up call. Or … I dunno … step outside and observe the lush, verdant fields of southern Utah. Yeah, they ain’t there. Food is naturally scarce here, because water is naturally scarce here.
Do you realize that a pound of beef requires over 2,000 gallons of water and 16 pounds of grain to produce? Eating any amount of meat, unless you found it or killed a wild animal, is environmentally reckless. Anyone remotely concerned about global warming, climate change, or generally feeling like you’re inside a hair dryer in the summer in St. George might consider the impact that massive methane emissions at factory farms has on us. We don’t live in a bubble. Unless you’ve cut meat out of your diet, you’re fanning the flames with your consumption habits. Staging a meat-eating contest sends a socially suicidal message to our children.
Look, 40,000 people starve to death on this planet every day, and it’s mostly children who are dying. I don’t see how encouraging irresponsible consumption is “fun,” unless maybe you’re a Satanist or a cult member. That behavior has no place in responsible society, much less a “Christian” nation.
Along those lines, when you see a picture of Jesus surrounded by animals, does he seem generally peaceful or his he slitting their throats? “Christian” still means “like Christ,” right?
As Dan Mabbutt pointed out, Mormon scripture teaches that meat is to be consumed sparingly, if at all. Of course, that’s recent and practical advice on several levels. But dig a little deeper and you’ll find that Jesus, being a Nazarene, was an Essene Jew. And yeah, the Essenes believed in transmigration of the soul—similarly to classical Greeks and Hindus—and were therefore vegetarian. As a matter of fact, if “Thou shalt not kill” was a little too ambiguous, bypass centuries of propheteering completely and read the Essene Gospel of Peace, directly from the Prince of Peace’s lips: “But I do say to you: Kill neither men, nor beasts, nor yet the food which goes into your mouth. For if you eat living food, the same will quicken you, but if you kill your food, the dead food will kill you also.”
That’s but a mere snippet. Christ goes on at great length, explaining in no uncertain terms that killing is not okay, certainly not for the sake of appetite. Read it yourself if you really want to ascertain Christ’s stance on a hamburger-eating contest. To put it succinctly, he who misunderstands that the message of peace extends to all beings misunderstands the most fundamental teachings of Christ.
Frame that in the context of one of the most notoriously religious regions of the U.S and you’ve got yourself a steaming pile of cognitive dissonance. Slather that cognitive dissonance onto a children’s festival and you’ve got Spooky Town Fair, hijacked by Graf and McDonald’s.
Putting religion aside, there are simply the immediate health risks. Americans overeat. It’s simple. We have a nationwide health (death) epidemic, and it’s related to lifestyle choices and behavior. Our children are our future, and with every word and action, we are demonstrating to them how to live. Making a contest out of how much one can eat is egregiously irresponsible.
Even worse is to treat meat like it’s a toy. Regardless of what some fool manager at McDonald’s ignorantly claims, processed meat causes cancer and animal foods in general cause cardiovascular diseases. Exercise is beyond the point. Graf was quoted as asking rhetorically, “Why would we have a watermelon eating contest? It’s just something fun to do. I don’t see that there is anything wrong about it.” Geez, Pam. Just for starters, watermelon doesn’t cause cancer, heart disease, atherosclerosis, osteoporosis, etc.
Since the hazards involved in this hamburger-eating contest are clearly of no concern, I would like to propose a few contests for next year’s Spooky Town Fair:
—A vodka-shooting contest sponsored by Absolut
—A cocaine-snorting contest sponsored by the Central Intelligence Agency
—A cigarette-smoking contest sponsored by Phillip Morris
—A William Tell-style apple-shooting contest sponsored by Lockheed Martin
—An orgy sponsored by Trojan
Oh, and in case you missed an earlier piece I wrote, there’s shit in the meat! Let’s feed it to our kids! Genius.
On the other hand, all those kids and parents who eschewed this disastrous contest are the only hope for the future. A scanty three children competed to see who could be the most rapacious glutton. It was neglectful and abusive, but it happened. Everyone else had the sense to ignore it and enjoy the rest of the festivities.
I should’ve set up a high-five booth for those who wisely chose not to participate in Pam Graf’s little debacle.
I don’t think I would’ve been able to stand the rancid stench of McDonald’s shitburgers, though.
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Why don’t you tell us how you Really feel, Jason? lol… Kidding aside, this is a really good article but it is probably wasted on the intellectual wasteland out there. Remember the controversy about Pink Slime Burgers? Who knows if they have Really stopped using what they called “lean beef trimmings treated with ammonia” They wouldn’t lie to us — would they? Ha!
Jason, I sincerely suggest you sober up before you voice or pin your opinion next time around.
Then again, everyone is entitled to blab, sober or not. Idea! How about we pass a law that outlaws the eating of all wheat, cereal, whole milk, beer along with hamburgers made from non- PETA approved, methane gas emitting cows meat? Note: There is scientific evidence that hamburgers made from horse meat is better for our global warming environment than those stinking cows.
Again, I suggest you put the bottle away before you begin typing. Or, Get Al Gore to officially sign off on your paper.
Hi Jarmi,
I am straight edge. I don’t drink or consume intoxicants in general. Thanks for asking.
Did you mean “pen” my opinion? Or did I pin it to something?
Your argument (“argument”) falls near the bottom of this chart: http://scienceblogs.com/startswithabang/files/2009/08/disagreement-hierarchy.jpg
I didn’t mention PeTA, of which I am proudly not a supporter, nor Al Gore, of whom I am proudly not a supporter.
There is scientific evidence–or rather simple math–that it still takes pounds of grain and thousands of gallons of water to produce horse meat, just like cow meat. Do you think that horses don’t eat and drink? They just magically grow larger? Or did you mean to suggest unicorn meat as an alternative?
Switching to horse meat is almost the most vapid climate change solution I’ve ever seen anyone propose. Your argument is flimsy and ill-thought out, as is your entire comment. I would suggest you get your synapses in order before clicking “reply” next time around–certainly before you simply begin throwing insults around. Then again … it’s a free country. You are allowed to embarrass yourself as much as you like. I have to admit that it was a fun read.
Best,
Jason Gottfried
Jason,
What a terrible view of the world you have. I can’t imagine living my life with such negativity & doom and gloom. People eat hamburgers and the world continues spinning. You should be ashamed of this article, likening an event for children to an orgy to promote condoms is wretched. I can only assume you don’t have children because you are missing the point of it all. If you do have children, God bless them. Pam is a nice person and doesn’t deserve this clickbate attention grabbing article. Stop making things out to be more than what they really are.
Hi B.R.,
Thanks so much for your insightful response!
Like Jarmi, you made the mistake of assuming. Not only am I a father, my four-year-old already exhibits more wisdom, compassion, and common sense than the average adult American, not to mention the average Indy commenter. She would never trivialize the life of another being through something as insane and macabre as a flesh-eating contest.
So people eat hamburgers and the world keeps on spinning, you say? What is your point? Anything is justified as long as the world continues to spin? I can rape and pillage and–hey!–the world keeps on spinning? This is your rationale? And I have a terrible worldview?
What you’re doing is minimizing the situation. I haven’t made anything out to be anything other than what it is. I backed up my argument with facts. You’re uncomfortable with it, but you either can’t or won’t actually refute it … so you’ve made some assumptions about me and tried (quite unsuccessfully, I assure you) to shame me for pointing out the truth.
I believe you when you say that Pam Graf is a nice person. At no point did I say that I think she is bad, mean, stupid, etc. Unqualified, yes, and evidently somewhat ignorant. But Hitler was probably a nice guy, too. So he killed a few million Jews. So what? So the Romans crucified Christ. So what? Pontius Pilate was a nice guy. Oh, and the world is still spinning, so there’s that. I guess genocide is no big deal. Oh wait, genocide is what happens in order for there to be HAMBURGERS.
I am not in the teeniest bit ashamed of this article. I am, however, ashamed of my country for producing brittle minds that are more concerned about enabling the status quo at any cost than honestly examining cattlesque social behavior for the benefit of all of God’s creatures. I know, more doom and gloom.
In conclusion, bait is spelled with an “I,” you are only minimizing the situation using one of the three classic tools of the abuser (minimizing, denial, and blame), and if you will check out the chart I posted in response to Jarmi’s little temper tantrum, you can decide for yourself how effective your rhetoric really is. And whether you like it or not, and whether you agree with it or not, what I write is intended for the benefit of all sentient beings, even the hostile and irritating ones. Whether a topic is pleasant or uncomfortable, I encourage civil and thoughtful discussion in hopes that it will ultimately be for the greater good.
Take a hint, friend.
Namaste and stuff,
Jason Gottfried