These horoscopes are provided for entertainment purposes only. The authors cannot be held responsible for any decisions or actions based, in whole or in part, on any of the information presented herein. Really, even if you believe in horoscopes (especially if you believe in horoscopes), you shouldn’t listen to anything listed herein … wait, drink water. There, that’s some advice you can heed.
Mercury is in Libra. At least someone is getting laid.
Your recent bold behavior has gotten you noticed by a couple of people lately. They’re in that van across the street.
Start a conversation with someone you disagree with this week, and you’ll find out what makes them tick. It’s usually a combination of liquor and rage.
If there has ever been a time to throw your weight around, this is it. Cannonball!
Broadcast your goals. Your stupid, petty little goals.
In theory, it should not matter what other people think of you. So in theory, you should stop sobbing like a baby.
You might need to temper your passion this week with a veneer of etiquette and tact. Translation: condoms.
There has never been a better time to reinvent yourself. Just try and make yourself less of an ass this time.
Many people working together can create miracles. So, invite the whole crew over, and let’s get that toilet unclogged.
You are surrounded by people who want to lift you up. Really they want to do anything to get downwind of you.
Lately you’ve been feeling like you’re walking into a wall. So, maybe stop walking into that wall.
It’s human nature to want what others have. Licking those things to claim them as your own, that’s not really human nature.
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